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NEWS
By LAURA ERNDE | August 3, 2000
Senator's jokes jab cohorts A speech by the president of the Maryland Senate on Thursday was short on policy statements and long on quips that targeted area lawmakers. Sen. Thomas V. Mike Miller started his address to the Quad-State Legislative Conference with a story about conference host Sen. Donald F. Munson, R-Washington. During an economic slump, Miller, a Democrat, needed Munson's vote on a controversial tax increase. He was assured that Munson would support the tax increase if the legislature repealed a tax on carpet installers.
NEWS
December 29, 2000
Lawmaker bugged by columnist's W.Va. jokes By BOB PARTLOW / Staff Writer, Martinsburg MARTINSBURG, W.Va. - Did you hear the one about the West Virginian who mowed his grass only to find a car up on blocks? continued House Minority Leader Charles Trump IV, R-Morgan, of Berkeley Springs, W.Va., has heard that joke and others like it, and says "enough's enough. " Trump has enlisted the help of many of his friends to try to convince Washington Post columnist Bob Levey to stop including West Virginia jokes in his column.
NEWS
BY BOB MAGINNIS | May 2, 2002
How many West Virginia jokes have you heard this week? Even one is too many, said 400 young people interviewed last month by Mason-Dixon Polling & Research, Inc., which is exploring the reason that so many people between 18 and 34 leave the state. In interviews in The Huntington-Herald Dispatch, one of three media outlets that commissioned the poll, young career people said the old image of the uneducated barefoot hillbilly is more than a joke. It's a stereotype unrelated to reality that's holding back the West Virginia its residents.
NEWS
August 17, 2009
CHAMBERSBURG, Pa. -- Sarah Signore, 20, of Greencastle, Pa., was named 2009 Franklin County Fair Queen on Monday night. During the contest, Signore completed an interview with judges, read a prepared essay and answered two impromptu questions. Lindsay Upperman, 16, of Chambersburg, Pa., was named first runner-up. While the judges deliberated, contestants entertained the crowd with dancing, talent displays and jokes.
NEWS
By EVA NIESSNER | July 31, 2007
Movie review As a fan of the TV show "The Simpsons" to the point where I end up quoting every episode, I had high expectations for the "The Simpsons Movie. " I was not disappointed at all. When Homer Simpson fills Lake Springfield with toxic pig waste, the EPA places Springfield in a huge dome to protect the rest of the world from the polluted city. This makes townspeople angry. Homer and his family leave the dome to escape from his fellow citizens. The plot of the movie is like a plot for a "Simpsons" TV episode - you never know where it will go, but it all stays relevant.
NEWS
June 23, 1997
By LISA GRAYBEAL Staff Writer, Chambersburg CHAMBERSBURG, Pa. - Since he was a kid in Kentucky, James Brewer has been known as the one to go to for a good laugh. "To me there's not enough humor in the world...That's what makes the world go 'round. You have to have fun and laugh," Brewer said, his accent revealing his southern roots. Author of 14 paperback books, including his latest, "Whole Grain," Brewer delights his readers with jokes, witty one-liners, and short lyrics.
NEWS
January 24, 2001
Dark comedy can be costly As many of you may have heard, this column was deregulated back in 1996 by the Maryland General Assembly when editors feared that the price per joke was escalating at a cost that customers would soon be unwilling to pay. If I were allowed to plagiarize jokes from all over, and not be bound to the few scanty jokes originating in my own brain, regulators believed the competition for joke-space in this column would...
NEWS
By JULIE E. GREENE | October 9, 2008
CHAMBERSBURG, Pa. -- While Karen Morgan, Nancy Witter and Sherry Davey's comedy show is billed Mama's Night Out, their material is not limited to the experiences of motherhood. "It's a very small part of our show," said Witter, 51. But it was motherhood and comedy that brought the three together when they met as finalists in 2005 for the first season of Nick at Nite's "Search for the Funniest Mom in America. " None of them won the top prize, but they had such a good time together they decided to join forces for a show, selling out their first two shows, a pair of fundraisers in Portland, Maine.
NEWS
March 19, 2001
I found myself, purpose through God As I think back on the 16 years of my life, many things come to mind - crushes I've experienced, phases that have come and gone - typical childhood occurrences. I recall the times spent with my grandfather in the hospital; the vacations spent at the beach with my family. All of these memories burn vividly in the recesses of my mind. I recently finished a term paper on self-esteem and that is the part of my life that I share with you now. This is the story of how I lost my self, and found it again.
NEWS
August 22, 1997
By KAREN MASTERSON Staff Writer Jimmie "J.J. " Walker, of the acclaimed 1970s sitcom, "Good Times," kept the sold out crowd laughing Thursday night at the Barracuda Surf Bar. "The problem with Bob Dole is he's not hip to the black man. He thought the top 10 men in black history were the Harlem Globe Trotters," said Walker, who is black. Like with most comedians, Walker gave a no-holds-barred routine that poked fun at Marion Barry, homosexuals, women and sexual harrassment, O.J. Simpson and the Dallas Cowboys.
ARTICLES BY DATE
OPINION
December 3, 2012
So this Public Works engineer is walking down a country lane and he comes across a young boy shepherding a flock of sheep across the road. The Public Works engineer steps out of his pickup and tells the kid, “I bet you one of your sheep I can tell exactly how many you have in your flock.” Kid takes the bet and the Public Works engineer calculates some angles, crunches some numbers and announces, “238 sheep.” “Wow, mister,” says the...
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OPINION
By GEORGE KALIN | August 22, 2012
When you live in Indiana, you hear Kentucky jokes. In Maryland, they are about West Virginia. When you're Polish, it doesn't matter where you live - you are the brunt of jokes. I want to dispel the idea that this nationality is worthy of all this negative attention. During our Revolutionary War, Gen. George Washington was impressed with Casimir Pulaski, the Polish volunteer. Pulaski helped train our soldiers and later died in battle for our country. There was also Thaddeus Kosciusko, a Polish engineer who built the fortifications around Philadelphia and Yorktown.
OPINION
August 13, 2012
Look at the bright side, you only have to read my post-Olympic assessment column once every four years. It is kind of like the Transit of Venus that way. You really don't want to hear about it and don't know why you should care, but at least you know it won't happen again in your lifetime. I'm always accused of focusing on the negative, so I'll start out by saying, “How 'bout that U.S. women's soccer team! U-S-A, U-S-A!” No, I didn't see the final against Japan either, but I was happy about it in the sense that I view it as revenge for the Datsun B-210.
SPORTS
By ANDREW MASON | andrewm@herald-mail.com | November 19, 2011
David Riddle could only describe his performance at the 49th annual JFK 50 Mile ultramarathon with one word Saturday. “Surreal,” he said. “I would say it's a dream come true, but I can't really say that because I could never even dream it.” Riddle, 30, of Cincinnati, overtook prerace favorite Michael Wardian with about 4 1/2 miles left and prevailed in a course-record time of 5 hours, 40 minutes, 45 seconds. Wardian, 37, of Arlington, Va., finished second in 5:43:24, also eclipsing the previous course-record mark of 5:46:22, set in 1994 by Eric Clifton.
LIFESTYLE
By MARIE GILBERT | marieg@herald-mail.com | September 26, 2011
  Editor's note: This is the first in an occassional series on Dan Hawthorne, who after topping 600 pounds has been on a journey to lose weight through diet and exercise. In a world obsessed with waistlines, liposuction and liquid diets, Dan Hawthorne stood out. People would stare when he walked down the street and act like food police in restaurants, criticizing his menu selections. He was aware of the whispers and the jokes - society's constant, humiliating reminders that he literally didn't fit in. And he silently endured the pain.
NEWS
By DAVE McMILLION | davem@herald-mail.com | May 12, 2011
Former Berkeley County delegate and current Republican gubernatorial candidate Larry Faircloth said Thursday that a joke he told referring to President Obama as "Sambo" and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi as a "bimbo" was simply an attempt to "bring a little humor" to the campaign. Faircloth said he apologizes for the joke if it offended anyone, which it has, including a West Virginia branch of the NAACP. He said the joke he told at a candidates forum on April 29 in Romney, W.Va., is representative of the humor in politics.
NEWS
August 17, 2009
CHAMBERSBURG, Pa. -- Sarah Signore, 20, of Greencastle, Pa., was named 2009 Franklin County Fair Queen on Monday night. During the contest, Signore completed an interview with judges, read a prepared essay and answered two impromptu questions. Lindsay Upperman, 16, of Chambersburg, Pa., was named first runner-up. While the judges deliberated, contestants entertained the crowd with dancing, talent displays and jokes.
NEWS
August 12, 2009
o If you want to voice your opinion on health care reform efforts and today's town hall event, go to the Local Shoutbox page. STATE COLLEGE, Pa. (AP) -- Sen. Arlen Specter, facing more jeers and taunts during another town hall meeting Wednesday, sought to defuse tensions about health care reform debate with a few jokes. Discussing people who had also come to Tuesday's forum in Lewisburg, Specter said, "I consider it a compliment that you want to come back. " At one point, he even jokingly booed himself as a way of poking fun at the reaction he has been getting.
NEWS
By JULIE E. GREENE | October 9, 2008
CHAMBERSBURG, Pa. -- While Karen Morgan, Nancy Witter and Sherry Davey's comedy show is billed Mama's Night Out, their material is not limited to the experiences of motherhood. "It's a very small part of our show," said Witter, 51. But it was motherhood and comedy that brought the three together when they met as finalists in 2005 for the first season of Nick at Nite's "Search for the Funniest Mom in America. " None of them won the top prize, but they had such a good time together they decided to join forces for a show, selling out their first two shows, a pair of fundraisers in Portland, Maine.
NEWS
October 30, 2007
The jokes are from the U.S. Department of Agriculture's National Agricultural Statistics Service. For more fun, see its Web site at www.nass.usda.gov/pa. Q: What's a cow's favorite vegetable? A: A cowat! Q: What do you call a pig thief? A: A hamburglar! Q: Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice? A: Because he was a dirty double crosser! Q: What did the farmer call the cow that wouldn't give him any milk? A: An udder failure! Q: What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
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