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Big Sydney: In political football, it's tough to keep score

November 07, 2012|By BIG SYDNEY
  • Herald-Mail football prognosticator Big Sydney
Herald-Mail football prognosticator Big Sydney

I just got back from a week on the campaign trail and finished what was an odd experience.

With Tuesday’s elections, I took the opportunity to try to stump for votes for some of my football favorites.

I was looking for votes for Boonsboro’s Clayton Anders as a right Wing-T candidate.

I was trying to rally support for Michael Oher, Haloti Ngata, Justin Tuck, Julius Peppers and Jake Long as a party line.

And I was using RGIII as a frontrunner.

Let’s just say I was kicking around a political football.

But that wasn’t the weird part. That came during my campaign stops in the Baltimore-Washington area.

First, came Baltimore.

I was traveling through the town, on my football platform — Tailgate, not Watergate or Tailhook — and when I looked into the crowd, I thought I was making a cameo appearance in a Stephen King novel.

Every face I looked at had a ton of cold cream covering it.

To make it even more difficult, every one of the voters had those little black squares over their eyes. You know what I mean, when you see a picture in the paper and it has a box superimposed between the nose and forehead so the person can’t be identified.

If you don’t know what I mean, take a look at Tim Koelble’s photo on the Forecasters box. After his picks, he’s always looking for anonymity.

Then I went over to the Landover, Md., area to gain support.

I found a lot of people wearing burgundy and gold, but they just didn’t have any zip.

I couldn’t figure out why at first. They were all excited about their team’s season, but something changed.

Everything was so bland there, right down to the food. And you know me, I’ll eat wallpaper paste and think it’s great.

This campaign stop featured pretzels and popcorn without salt. I thought it was part of a movement to stop high blood pressure.

Then, I looked around. I couldn’t find pepper, garlic salt, sugar or even chili powder.

That was rather baffling.

And finally I went to College Park.

I stopped in a convenient store and picked up a fountain drink and noticed a rather odd trend.

You know those dollar stores? In College Park, it is very different.

Everything is 76 cents.

I bought my drink and paid a buck and the clerk gave me back two dimes and four pennies.

Everything in this store was $1.76 or $2.76. I didn’t make sense.

It all had me baffled until I started making my trek back to Dargan. It all hit me while I was in my lowrider with ZZ Top blaring.

All of the voting constituents were reflecting the fortunes of their favorite teams.

In Baltimore, there is no identity and they are winning ugly.

In Washington, they are coping with another lost season.

And in College Park, they are lacking quarterbacks.

Now it all makes sense.

On with the predictions. Last week 10-7 (.588). Season 146-58 (.716).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Boonsboro 27, Brunswick 23

Seneca Valley 18, North Hagerstown 13

Central York 28, Chambersburg 22

Capital 37, Musselman 30

Martinsburg 41, Woodrow Wilson 17

COLLEGES

Clemson 42, Maryland 7

Oklahoma State 46, West Virginia 35

Nebraska 31, Penn State 20

Shepherd 26, Fairmont State 14

PROS

Ravens 24, Raiders 13

Steelers 26, Chiefs 10

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