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Big Sydney: Take a bow, but be ready to pay the price

October 24, 2012|By BIG SYDNEY
  • Herald-Mail football prognosticator Big Sydney
Herald-Mail football prognosticator Big Sydney

I learned something horrifying the other day.

Nothing in life is free.

I used to make a Fourth Meal in the supermarket out of the little morsels and samples that were marketing ploys to try a product.

After 10 laps around the store, I ran out of disguises and ended up getting exiled from aisle 5 with a cents-off coupon in my pocket.

Of course, for the little yogurt samples I only made five laps. I have an image to uphold.

But now it really burns me that I could be charged for participating in a football tradition.

For as long as I’ve been involved with football, a coach has yelled to his players “Take a knee.”

Now, it’s going to cost them.

Last week, NFL lightning rod Tim Tebow was awarded a trademark on his Tebowing pose — his version of a touchdown celebration where he falls to one knee after crossing the goal line to give thanks for scoring a touchdown.

Now, anyone doing the same thing would be infringing on Tebow’s trademark and would be forced to pay for the right to strike the pose.

Talk about getting kneed. That one lands in the second most painful place — the wallet.

There’s no pad to cover that one.

Keep watching for other people to follow suit.

Someone could put a trademark on mac-and-cheese recipes and say they are franchising “elbowing.”

Over at North Hagerstown, the former football coach could get a patent on his career wins record. It would be called Crossbowing.

And then Lou Scally and Brittany Beggs could fight over local wet weather forecasts for the rights for Rainbowing.

That might be pushing it.

But it could have other applications.

Anyone wearing gold-lensed sunglasses would be Orndorffing.

Or how about wearing a sweater vest, no matter the game-time temperature. That would be Bathgating.

Soon there might be a trademark on a method of picking games, while kicked back in a recliner with one hand in a 10-piece bucket and the other on the remote. It would include a Bluetooth earpiece and a Dragon dictation app that would type what is being said.

I think it would be called “Syding.”

Yeah, right, first of all, no one would have that kind of multitasking prowess.

Besides, the chances of me having to trademark anything like that is about as big as the chances the Mummers Parade will be snowed out.

On with the predictions. Last week 17-4 (.810). Season 125-45 (.735).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Boonsboro 31, North Hagerstown 27

South Hagerstown 39, Brunswick 13

Smithsburg 13, Williamsport 12

Hancock 27, Massanutten Military Academy 19

Chambersburg 28, Central Dauphin East 14

Northern York 48, James Buchanan 20

Martinsburg 47, Musselman 31

Hedgesville 30, Jefferson 18

Washington 34, Hampshire 25

Greencastle-Antrim 27, Waynesboro 13

East Hardy 28, Clear Spring 7

Northern Garrett 44, Berkeley Springs 14

Maret School 26, Saint James 21

Mercersburg Academy 24, Hill School 10

COLLEGES

Maryland 26, Boston College 17

Ohio State 31, Penn State 21

PROS

Steelers 23, Redskins 20

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