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Lloyd Waters: Into all lives some broccoli must fall

July 08, 2012|By LLOYD WATERS

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” (Opening line of George Orwell’s “1984”).

Everyone needs and should have medical insurance. Just how and when that should occur is open for serious debate.

I stopped by for a coffee at the local BP the other day and Mr. Smith was there and he said, “You know Pete, one day government will require us to eat broccoli.”

Are you serious? I don’t really like broccoli. But maybe he had a point. In New York they want to outlaw big drinks with a lot of sugar.

In America, the government has decided that everyone must have medical insurance or pay a penalty.    I wonder if they really will make all of us eat broccoli pretty soon. It would be healthier, but I don’t like broccoli.

Perhaps government will restrict or eliminate the sale of all sugars; maybe it will ban all cigarettes too. Everyone knows cigarettes aren’t healthy.

Is there a need for any alcohol? Alcohol causes our society a lot of problems. Can we stop making guns? Those can be unhealthy to your health for sure and create some other problems — just ask Eric Holder.

Now, if the government decides to make me a more responsible person by taking away all those bad things that tend to make me irresponsible, just imagine how nice life will soon be. We won’t have to decide anything.

But the government wouldn’t really make me eat broccoli, would it?

The real scary thing about this most recent Supreme Court decision about health care is this: If the government decides that you have no freedom in refusing to purchase health insurance, what might be next?

Maybe they could do away with ice cream. Sorry Nutter’s, Americans don’t need ice cream anymore.

Maybe government could do away with red meat. Medical folks suggest that red meat is not really as healthy for your diet as say a piece of fish.

I can feel myself getting healthier already. But I hope the government doesn’t make me give up my eggnog at Christmas! I really like eggnog — it comforts me!

I wonder if the government will soon limit my driving miles; you know we all could reduce gas consumption if we drove less.

If we’re saving money on gas, sugar, red meats, cigarettes, alcohol and all the other stuff, and we’re a lot healthier, then we’ll have more dollars to spend. Yep, I think we’re on our way to a better place.

I really believe, too, if the government sets a standard price for all houses, let’s say about $125,000 maximum, they could avoid another housing collapse. Why does anyone need a $500,000 house they can’t afford anyway?

Maybe if the government would decide to do away with Wall Street and banks, we could come up with a new economic system that is a little less chaotic and greedy: Maybe  personal IOUs and a handshake.

Maybe if the government could put a computer in everyone’s home and have one teacher online to teach 25,000 kids they could cut the education budget a few dollars. 

The government could then become that good Big Brother you never had.

Perhaps if the government was really serious about my health and future, they would do something about the $16 trillion debt and that would reduce my stress and anxiety, and I wouldn’t require a therapist for my well-being.

Being healthier would surely result in fewer pills and medications.

I’m sure happy that the government is “on my side” and as soon as I get a little healthier and some of the above changes come along, I’ll be living a longer life.

Then what? Not to worry, the government will take care of that one as well.

Now that you are feeling much better, Pete, just shut up and eat your broccoli, would ya? 

Lloyd “Pete” Waters is a Sharpsburg resident who writes columns for The Herald-Mail.

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