Girls need to learn patience with boys

March 08, 2012|Lisa Prejean

Lately I've heard a lot of giggling from my daughter and her friends. I walk into a room and hear the giggles. They see me and the giggles stop.

I know why they are giggling: Boys.

Just the thought of boys makes them giggle.

One glance from the right guy creates the perfect story to tell a best girlfriend.

They wonder if I understand. I do. I smile at their giggles.

I listen when they talk about the conversation they had with this boy or that boy, and how it can be awkward to talk to a boy.

I listen when they talk about how some girls don't seem to have trouble with this. Girls can be very forward, and it seems like they are getting more forward with each passing year.

Then I give advice.

While it may seem that girls who pursue boys get a lot of attention, that attention is typically short-lived.

Boys are intrigued by the mystery created by a calm and confident spirit. They don't want girls to act boy-crazy around them. They don't want to be pursued.

Encouraged, maybe, but not pursued.

As girls enter the teen years, they need to learn to have patience, to not rush relationships. Be a friend first.

Friendships are often built on kindness. Kindness builds trust. Trust builds relationships.

As I relate this advice to my daughter and her friends, I share some fond memories with them.

The first time I saw my husband, I wondered if I'd ever have a chance to talk to him. He seemed like a hard-working, determined young man, and that was appealing to me. It didn't hurt that he was incredibly cute.

Even though I wanted to approach him, I waited for him to approach me. I still remember the first words he spoke to me, "You're from Maryland?" (He had seen the license plate on my car.)

Over the next several weeks, we had numerous friendly conversations. Then one day my future husband was telling me about all the projects he had for his college classes.

I listened, smiled and commented, "I guess you'll be pretty busy this weekend."

When I looked away, he took the opportunity to ask me out to lunch the next day.

I was happy that I hadn't rushed him and that we were already well on our way to being good friends at that point.

Good things really do come to those who wait.

Did I giggle with my girlfriends after that first date?

Maybe just a little bit.

Lisa Tedrick Prejean writes a weekly column for The Herald-Mail's Family page. Send email to her at

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