Lloyd Waters: Plan Maryland? We remember the outhouse

February 12, 2012|By LLOYD WATERS

The residents of Dargan are becoming somewhat alarmed at what’s happening in the rest of the world. Particularly, we have been reading the papers, and the governor’s proposal to take Plan Maryland to another level is a little shocking to us.

We wouldn’t be so much concerned, but isn’t this the same fellow who also takes some credit for Planned Baltimore City? In consideration of the crime, education and economic results he achieved there, I would say “no thanks” to his proposal.

I also have to tell you that his idea about restricting septic systems is equally disturbing. I can remember growing up in Dargan before the concept of septic systems. 

Most families in Dargan, at one time, had no issues or objections with the septic tank because no one had a septic tank. For you city dwellers, the “outhouse” eliminated the need for a septic system.

Yep, in winter, spring, summer and fall, the “outhouse” was the place to go when nature called. It was a place for higher learning and wisdom, too.

You could read the Sears catalog, a school book or newspaper while you were there; you could count the spiders on the wall if you liked; and you didn’t really have to think much about the heat or cold because there was no installed furnace or air conditioning unit.

The changing seasons served to establish the temperature for this little abode. No need to look for a thermostat. In the summer it was “hot” and in the winter it was “cold.”

Even the rain, sleet, snow and hail would not impede your trip to the “outhouse” when nature called. The time of day, morning or night, was not an issue, either.

In Dargan, we thought the flashlight was purposely created for the walk at night to the outhouse.

I even believe the Potomac River and Chesapeake Bay were a lot cleaner back in those days. Nope. Dargan doesn’t support more restrictions on septic systems. 

Flush tax? No thanks. We don’t need that one, either. There’s no flushing required in an outhouse.

Now, when the governor thinks about gun control, I know that idea must have originated in Baltimore City also.

The only thing he fails to realize when he was mayor of Baltimore is that the “bad” guys are the ones with the guns. Please don’t place unnecessary restrictions on the good guys.

Find a way to get the guns from the bad guys, and then you will be a very popular governor.

We folks in Dargan have always had guns, and don’t see anything at all wrong with the part of our Constitution that permits them. We used them to hunt squirrels and game that we would eat to reduce our grocery bill, and kept them close by in the event a terrorist might show up to take what we held sacred from our unlocked doors.

That was even before “terrorists” became problems and most politicians were honest.

Our neighbors in West Virginia and Pennsylvania believe that Maryland is a “communist” state because they’re always trying to restrict our firearms. As a Maryland resident, I can get a gun permit in Utah that is good in 31 states, but Maryland’s permit process is extremely cumbersome. 

Something is oddly wrong with this process.

A higher gasoline tax? I thought we were already paying a gasoline tax to maintain and improve our roads. If we continue to pay more taxes on gasoline, we won’t be able to afford to drive on the roads that have been fixed.

I’m not real convinced that our state has been a good steward of the other gasoline tax dollars we gave you. How about you improve the roads first and then maybe we can talk about some more taxes on gasoline?  

I think the Dargan council just might support that last recommendation. Plan Maryland? I don’t think so.

Lloyd “Pete” Waters is a Sharpsburg resident who writes columns for The Herald-Mail.

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