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Big Sydney: It's just a fantasy, not the real thing

September 07, 2011|By BIG SYDNEY
  • Herald-Mail football prognosticator Big Sydney
Herald-Mail football prognosticator Big Sydney

I’m at the point in my career where I’m trying to give back.

Lately, I have been volunteering my time to help tutor the prognosticators of the future. Some people aspire to be a Phoenix while others would rather be a Sydney.

We are offering some advanced classes, but I love working with the young kids. I try to add to their points spread for making it big.

I call it the Griddle League. Not only do we teach them the art of picking games but we double with some cooking classes that specialize in tailgate snacks. It goes to my motto: You can’t be a Sydney unless you are a Big Sydney.

Anyhow, one day I was in one of our gifted classes of elementary school protégés.

There were six students huddled around a table, intently working on a project.

“Barney the Purple Dinosaur,” said the first.

“Dora the Explorer,” said the second, starting a stream of responses. The roll call continues.

“Spongebob Squarepants.”

“Spiderman.”

“Fozzie Bear.”

“Teletubby. The red one, not the purple one. And then I’ll take Captain America,” the sixth student said.

“OK. Harry Potter,” replied the fifth kid.

“Oooooooh,” said the fourth one, taking a big drag on a juice box. “Well, that changes things, I’ll take Animal from the Muppets. He’s tough.”

“Gosh darn it,” yelled the third kid. “That’s who I was going to take. Well, I’ll take Wonder Woman.”

“Ow,” said the second, biting hard into a carrot stick. “Let me have Mater then.”

“Wow, great pickup and he’ll keep everyone in tow,” said the first kid. “I’m going to pick Snuffleupagus and go for the marriage with Kermit ...”

Suddenly, curiosity got the best of me and had to ask. “What’s going on and what are you doing?” I said to the first kid, kind of portly with a pocket protector, but showed great leadership skills.

“We all decided we want to be just like our fathers,” he said.

“Every Sunday, they get to do all the cool stuff. They don’t sit straight in their chairs and get to eat in front of the TV,” he said.

“They don’t even have to eat all their vegetables to get cookies and chips. Mom keeps bringing stuff out to them. They don’t have to worry about spoiling their appetites.

“Then they jump up and down, yell at the TV, while pushing and talking mean to each other. I got a time out for that the other day. Still, it all looks like fun.”

“So, if they could do it on Sunday, we figure we would have our turn on Saturday mornings,” the second student said.

“How do you plan to do that?” I asked.

“We’re doing the same thing they did,” the fifth kid said. “We are having a fantasy draft.”

On with the predictions. Last week and season, 14-5 (.737).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Boonsboro 34, Manchester Valley 12

Bishop Walsh 21, Hancock 17

North Hagerstown 24, Frederick 18

Smithsburg 27, North Carroll 10

South Hagerstown 44, Francis Scott Key 14

Northern Garrett 19, Williamsport 16

Carson Long Military 33, James Buchanan 28

Mountain Ridge 41, Hedgesville 21

Millbrook 26, Jefferson 13

James Wood 23, Musselman 13

Sherando 31, Washington 7

Greencastle 30, New Oxford 14

Chambersburg 42, Waynesboro 17

Petersburg 17, Berkeley Springs 13

Martinsburg 38, Handley 16

Mercersburg Academy 22, Cleveland Knights 12

Clear Spring 33, Saint James 18

COLLEGES

Alabama 27, Penn State 14

West Virginia 45, Norfolk State 7

Shepherd 41, St. Joseph’s 21

PROS

Steelers 20, Ravens 16

Giants 17, Redskins 13

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