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Are you a Mr. Right?

August 04, 2011|Lisa Prejean

An email came addressed to me earlier this week, and the irony of it made me smile.

The message was a public relations pitch for a new self-help book.

“Stuck with Mr. Wrong?” provides “Ten Steps to Starring in your own Life Story.”

No offense to author Amy Beth O’Brien, but why would anyone want to star in a story with Mr. Wrong?

Aren’t movies supposed to get it right?

Actually, that’s the point O’Brien makes in the book, that if people imagined themselves as stars in movies, Mr. Wrong would be out of the picture.

Interesting.

It’s that simple?

Wow.

But how does a person distinguish a Mr. Right from a Mr. Wrong?

O’Brien encourages women “to step into their starring role as leading lady and stop playing extra or best supporting actress to someone else.”

Hmmm ... is this like that saying “always the bridesmaid, never the bride?”

I don’t think that was the intent.

I think O’Brien’s message is that women should be themselves and then the guys who are attracted to them will be Mr. Right.

OK. So I get it, I think.

But did the email have to land in my inbox this week?

It was rather unsettling to see that subject line — “Stuck with Mr. Wrong?”

I wanted to argue with my computer: No, I don’t think I’m stuck with Mr. Wrong. I have the privilege of living with Mr. Right. He just happens to be my husband, and he’s right most of the time.

When he isn’t right, I let him think he is just because it makes life easier.

We’re celebrating our anniversary this week, and this is one of the things I’ve learned over the last 21 years of marriage. Most things aren’t worth a fight.

If things get a little stressful, I try to remember the days when we first met. What drew us together? What did we do just for fun? What did we do before we had kids?

Who were we then?

That little mental exercise helps put things in perspective. He was Mr. Right then, and he remains Mr. Right today.

Too many people spend a lifetime looking for the “right” person.

Imagine if that focus was flipped.

What if each person concentrated instead on becoming the “right” person?

By “right,” I mean the type of person others want to be around, the type of person who becomes active in worthwhile pursuits.

It would be a lot easier to get along with others if at first we concentrated on ourselves.

That, too, would reduce on the number of connections to Mr. Wrongs.

Lisa Tedrick Prejean writes a weekly column for The Herald-Mail’s Family page. Send email to her at lisap@herald-mail.com.

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