Today it’s our turn to chant in the streets. It’s our turn to dance and sing and form mobs and be truly sociable. We’ve waited a long time.
Anyone who was raised in a household that taught proper manners would never dream of getting all giddy over the death of a fellow human being. But in this case, I think even the best households would be willing to make an exception.
As long as Osama bin Laden was alive, part of us remained dead. It sure seemed, at least, as if we’ve been in a decade-long funk. We had never really recovered from 9/11 — it’s like the table had been cleared, but there was still that one sloppy bowl of leftover spaghetti sitting right in the middle of it.
I know there will be more attacks, and I’m trying to remain rational and realistic. But without that spaghetti dish, our table looks much better.
I don’t like to dabble in politics as you know, but I would like to thank President Obama for taking decisive action. I know this wasn’t an easy decision — it never is. But the situation had become critical and some bold, daring stroke was necessary to knock the Royal Wedding off the front page.
If I had read one more comment about the size of whatshername’s tiara, I thought I might shear a pin. But rooting bin Laden right out of his palatial compound? That ought to keep the press busy at least until Lindsay Lohan’s next court appearance.
So — this is Pakistan’s version of a “palace,” is it? First press reports I heard said that bin Laden had been living, not in a cave, but in the lap of luxury, a mere hour from the Pakistani capital. After seeing a photo of the palace, I think I might have taken the cave and chanced the bats. They call it five stars because that’s how many you can see through the hole in the roof.
And that’s some crack intelligence agency that Pakistan must have. Really, it’s one thing to pretend you don’t know where the villain is hiding out, but you might not want to settle him in your military’s own guest cottage.
“Oh, you wanted BIN Laden? We thought you said TIN Laden. Boy is our face red.”
And what do those Navy SEALs do for an encore? If you’re a SEAL, this has to be what you dream of, like ballplayers dream of hitting the walk-off home run that ends the World Series. And I don’t know what’s harder, the mission, or not being able to talk about it afterward. You are the Hero of All Time and no once can know about it. That’s a shame.
I guess the military has its own ways, but if I pop the world’s most evil man, I’m going on Oprah. Of course, I might still get on Glenn Beck if I start a “Deather” movement demanding that Obama release the death certificate.
But no doubt someone is already way ahead of me on this. (I’m also more than a little disappointed that it’s been almost 36 hours now and Bob Woodward has yet to come out with his book, “Splat: Inside the Gun Barrel That Brought Down Osama bin Laden.”)
And speaking of fast action, how about CIA Director Leon Panetta? He’s nominated to Secretary of Defense on April 28 and three days later he’s got the bad guy. Talk about a good week. Somebody get him in charge of NFL labor talks.
But even with all that, when all is said and done, I hope it’s a long, long time before we see another man so evil that we can, in good conscious, make fun of him a day after his death.
Tim Rowland is a Herald-Mail columnist. He can be reached at 301-733-5131, ext. 6997, or via email at email@example.com.