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Republicans and Democrats sitting together a sign of the Apocalypse

January 26, 2011|By TIM ROWLAND | timr@herald-mail.com
  • Rowland
Rowland

If this is the new face of bipartisanship, count me out.

No one calling the president a liar. No one calling the Supreme court a bunch of doddering old fools. No smack of any kind? Bo-ring.

Actually, I didn't watch the State of the Union, but in true journalistic fashion, that won't stop me from commenting on it.

I saw a clip of the president's speech the next day, and I almost choked on my Fruity Pebbles when there was our own dear U.S. Rep. Roscoe "Mr. Burns" Bartlett sitting cheek by jowl with none other than liberal she-devil Nancy Pelosi. My stars, no wonder we had a blizzard the next day.

What's this supposed to signify, a new, united front against stink bugs?

I was like everyone else, I saw the quick shot of R-Bart and thought, "Oh isn't that sweet, he's brought his nurse." I'm sure everyone in California was saying, "Oh isn't that sweet, she's brought her grandfather."

There was just something too weird about it, a visual non sequitur. It was like seeing a tiger mom posing with a colonel from the Civil War. Someone needed to pull Pelosi aside and say, "You didn't need to do this; if you wanted to show your conservative cred you could have stopped with Eric Cantor. No need to go all the way to Mussolini."

I know that you're not supposed to make fun of old people, but he did run for office more than two decades ago on a platform of term limits, so that kind of makes him fair game. Plus, I genuinely like him for reasons that I've never quite been able to define.

And give him credit for this: at 12:18 Wednesday morning, he was busy churning out a news release stating his "reaction" to the State of the Union address. By that time, I'd already been in bed for three hours.

I think I was holding out hope that in his statement he wouldn't, you know — well, his words: "This year, I listened to his State of the Union speech sitting between two attractive ladies, Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi and Congresswoman Judy Chu, so I was a lucky man."

No! Don't go there Roscoe! No, please, no baking-cookie jokes.

Fortunately, the women on his staff appeared to haul him back from the brink before he took a headlong dive into William Donald Schaefer territory.

Lest the public get the wrong impression about his consorting with the enemy, he explained that he and Nancy "are both Marylanders." It wasn't an excuse really — it just kind of came off like the teenager explaining to the boyz in the hood why they saw him at the mall with his mommy.

As for the rest of the early-morning statement, he was just back to Roscoe being Roscoe:

"I couldn't stand for the President's proposal to kill the goose that lays our golden eggs by increasing taxes on our most productive workers. The President spoke about global competition with China and India. He made the point that it is hurting America's ability to support the creation and expansion of businesses and manufacturing jobs by having the second highest corporate tax rate in the world. If we raise taxes on our most productive workers, they can also choose to leave America."

What the ... ? Search me. Maybe you had to actually see the speech.

Tim Rowland is a Herald-Mail columnist. He can be reached at 301-733-5131, ext. 6997, or via e-mail at timr@herald-mail.com. Tune in to the Rowland Rant video at herald-mail.com, on antpod.com or on Antietam Cable's WCL-TV Channel 30 at 6:30 p.m. New episodes are released every Wednesday.

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