Otherwise, you have to be prepared to ride the lightning.
The freakshow in red got off lucky. One of the security crew had his taser drawn and at the ready. He must have been sympathetic to the plea: "Don't tase me, bro!"
Instead, the giant replica of a red blood cell simply got tripped up by Atlanta outfielder Matt Diaz, who must have been channeling a much kinder, much gentler former Baltimore Colt named Mike Curtis.
Nowadays, the unions don't want the players to get involved, which is too bad. Instead, you get the guys who are in about the same shape as me -- round -- running around in their canary yellow 'Event Staff' jackets chasing a guy down while reliving their high school football playing days, hoping for one clean shot at the guy.
And if they don't get it, they use their sidearm to jolt him back to reality.
Talk about keeping a guy grounded!
On with the predictions. Last week 17-6 (.739); season 47-18 (.723).
Catoctin 45, Boonsboro 8
Clear Spring 24, Clay-Battelle 14
Hancock 14, Carson Long Military 6
South Hagerstown 33, Smithsburg 12
Williamsport 16, Brunswick 14
CD East 18, Chambersburg 13
Northern 27, Waynesboro 6
Gettysburg 21, James Buchanan 8
Martinsburg 17, Fort Hill 10
Sherando 19, Jefferson 3
University 22, Hedgesville 8
Greencastle 31, West Perry 6
Petersburg 16, Berkeley Springs 12
Saint James 28, Randolph-Macon 8
North Hagerstown 34, North East 7
Hun School 19, Mercersburg Academy 10
Washington 13, Pope John Paul the Great 12
Maryland 27, Fla. International 14
Penn State 48, Temple 17
Shepherd 23, Seton Hill 3
LSU 33, West Virginia 22
Washington 24, St. Louis 21
Baltimore 16, Cleveland 14
Pittsburgh 9, Tampa Bay 7