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Read my lips: No new talk about taxes

July 28, 2010|By TIM ROWLAND

Everyone's talking about Christmas in July, so here's what I want: I want government to raise my taxes. Go ahead, take an extra 10 percent off the top, I'm fine with that. I don't care what lawmakers do with the money -- spend it on health reform, our crumbling infrastructure, leather recliners in the Senate chambers, I don't care.

There's only one condition, and that would be that everyone would have to shut up about taxes. Permanently.

What has it been now, 30 years? Three confounded decades where every politician and constituent has been vomiting tax rhetoric as if tap water had been replaced by syrup of ipecac.

Maybe I'm the only one. But I'm betting that there is a small but significant slice of America that's fed up with listening to people howl to the moon about how much they have to pay in taxes.

You don't want to pay any more taxes? Right. Pretty much got that by now.

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But do we really need to hear about it morning, noon and night?

Now, I'm not completely insensitive to their position. I know that in some nations taxes are at truly disturbing levels because no one spoke up, and government took advantage.

But seriously. We're supposed to believe that somehow the world as we know it is going to end if we allow the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy to expire?

Far as I'm concerned, the wealthy can make this argument on their own. I'm not going to plead their case for them, like so many of us worker bees seem to want to do.

Corporate America does this as well, have you noticed? Businesses get us peons to do their complaining for them. A number of Little People across America today are parroting the line that corporate tax cuts allow businesses to create more jobs.

Well, they might, but we'll never know, because every time a business has gotten some kind of bailout or tax break in the past five years, it's just used the cash, not to create jobs, but to give its executives bigger bonuses.

"Hey there, sorry, but we need to raise the interest rate on your credit card to 40 percent. Oh, and while we have you on the phone, would you mind writing your congressman to complain about high corporate tax rates we have to pay? Our vice president in charge of marketing needs a bigger jet."

So if you rivet sheet metal for a living, you can go to the wall for these boys if you want, but I'm gonna save my breath.

It's because of the mess created by these bailout artists that, right at the moment, I'm pretty grateful that I am ABLE to pay taxes. I know a lot of people out there would like to be in my shoes. So pardon me if I beg off of the tax riot.

Of course this might be a case of "which came first, the taxes or the anger?" Maybe Americans are just naturally perturbed and taxes just happen to be an easy target. That's our motto, man. E complainus unum.

It's like Arizona. It has an immigration crisis all right -- it all started when a river of rich, white retirees stormed its borders and started griping about the native population.

Maybe we need a tax on complaining about taxes. It could be progressive. You complain about your own taxes, it's only 15 percent, but when you complain about the taxes someone else has to pay, it goes up to 28.

Although come to think of it, I've spent an entire column complaining about people who do a lot of complaining. So it looks like the 35 percent bracket for me.

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