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Big Syd is getting OOC (out of control)

September 30, 2009|By BIG SYDNEY

Help! I'm drowning in a sea of acronym-ony!

No, not the acrimony of terse words, but the world where the code of letters is all it takes to communicate.

I have been immersed in it for more years than I'd like to admit. Before LOLing for chuckles and screaming OMG for divine intervention, I was dealing with PF (points for) and PA (points against) in football.

I'm addicted now. I can't stop.

I tried to figure out when it all started. It might have been from all the alphabet soup I ate as a kid. Maybe it came from studying the periodic table. But then sentences like "He has the touch of Au (gold)" never worked the way they should. It all went over like a Pb (lead) balloon.

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It's not funny if you have to explain them.

You all know I make my YTD salary by following and predicting the games in the NFL, the NCAA, the MPSSAA, the PIAA, the WVSSAC, the MAC and the MAPL.

There are many a days that I sit in front of my HD TV looking at INTs, PATs, TDs and my favorite YAC by using my DVD, DVR and VCR while sitting on my IKEA living room couch and wearing just my BVDs (there's a visual for you). I do this by watching events, including MNF and SNF, on NBC, CBS, ESPN, ABC, TNT and TBS, to name a few.

I have a high IQ for this job, but it never hurts to CYA. I feel like a VIP, especially when papers in L.A., NYC and D.C. want my services. I want to stay here to get my fix of watching WHAG.

Sometimes, I take a break to watch SNL, CSI and L&O. I even get to read SI and GQ once in a while.

I do this all while listening to CDs by CCR, GNR, BOC, nin, CSN and AWB, but no ABBA.

I type all the information and deliver it to you, my BFFs, by using my HP and IBM to send it all to the H-M by using my AOL account. I call on AT&T to make sure those lumps in the sports department get my weekly masterpiece.

Then it's time to relax and get something to eat. When I'm out of SPAM, I throw on my FUBUs, which make me look Phat, and go out.

I choose between my GM, my SUV and my LTD or maybe even my RX-7 for the journey. I get in the vehicle and search for the nearest KFC, IHOP, TCBY, HoJo's or TGIFridays on my GPS that I got from AAA.

I have such a hankering for a BLT, but I have to stop at an ATM first.

It's amazing how the route always seem to take me past a YMCA. Maybe someone is trying to tell me to get my LDL and HDL in order. I never get the notion to go in, but I always feel like dressing up like an Indian or construction worker as I drive past. I do stop at GNC to get some vitamins to stay healthy for this job, though.

I'm at a crossroad right now and I would like a little TLC. You know you have made it when people start referring to you by initials, like MJ, LT, MLK, LBJ, JFK and even J-Lo.

But I have a problem. Somehow it wouldn't be too flattering to be known as BS.

On with the picks. Last week: 12-10 (.546). Season: 60-29 (.674).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Williamsport 21, South Hagerstown 6

North Hagerstown 20, Smithsburg 14

Brunswick 30, Boonsboro 19

Colonel Richardson 37, Clear Spring 26

Trinity 19, Hancock 13

Cumberland Valley 27, Chambersburg 20

Mechanicsburg 33, Waynesboro 12

Greencastle 41, Big Spring 14

Middletown 37, James Buchanan 12

Martinsburg 44, Hedgesville 13

Jefferson 31, Musselman 21

Parkersburg South 28, Washington 7

Moorefield 40, Berkeley Springs 20

Potomac School 23, Saint James 16

Lawrenceville 13, Mercersburg Academy 7

COLLEGES

Colorado 31, West Virginia 27

Clemson 24, Maryland 13

Penn State 38, Illinois 21

Concord 27, Shepherd 23

PROS

Ravens 31, Patriots 20

Buccaneers 16, Redskins 13

Steelers 24, Chargers 20

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