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Big Syd gives fans something to chew on

September 23, 2009

The city of Dargan is thriving.

Over the last couple of years, I have taken time away from just picking games to plug some of the new, innovated businesses my hometown has to offer. It started with our barber shop specializing in dandruff relief, winter sports and car recovery -- known as Head and Shoulders, Skis and Tows -- all the way to our psychiatrist and hip-hop recording studio -- Shrink Rap.

But the one thing we don't have is one of those new-fangled theme restaurants. We need one with a sports bar setting, with a bunch of TVs and another gimmick.

Since I'm ever on the lookout for a business opportunity to promote football and eating, I thought this was the perfect place for me. I hooked up with a fortune teller friend of mine and came up with Pass and Future, a palm-reading, NFL-charged eatery. I was going to team with the Navy recruiting center, but I didn't think Tailgating and Tailhook would draw too many patrons.

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According to my tea leaves -- a perk from my business partner -- this has a real chance of making it. And fittingly, they left it up to me to work on the spread. I'm all about points and ample waistlines.

So, here are a few of my suggestions for our menu.

Appetizers



We will have various things, including Julius Peppers.

We have a sushi item to be named a Samari Rolle.

Bar



We plan on offering Tedy Bruschi and Reggie Bush on draft.

Our cocktail specialty will be the Shawn Merriman. I'm not sure what's in it, but I'm sure it will include a little shot of Tequila.

Entrees



The Donovan McNabb: A half rack of cracked ribs.

The Brett Favre: A greasy fried burger topped with Wisconsin cheddar cheese. You know you had it because once it's finished, it will keep coming back on you.

The Robert Henson: Turkey with a twittering of stuffing. Not a real fan favorite.

The Jim Zorn: Chicken, slightly underdone, with a side of Snyder chips.

The Michael Vick: A hot dog rolled over with a side of pit beef, served in a pita pocket.

The Chad Ochocinco: Heaping helping of ham, served open-faced, with the brashness of horseradish sauce and a little vinegar, served on rye bread.

The Terrell Owens: The same as the Ochocinco, only with Buffalo sauce.

The Albert Haynesworth: A large cut of overpriced beef that only shows up on certain occasions. Ask your server if this is one of those occasions.

The Bill Belichick: Dry, overcooked meat served with crackers, making it tough to swallow. But if you order this one, we guarantee you will feel like someone is spying on you.

The Kurt Warner: (No spring) Chicken served on day-old bread with condiments that are past their expiration date.

The Tom Brady: Duck, lamely sitting in a hot pocket, with tossed salad.

Desserts



We will have ice cream called the Any Given Sundae.

Cleveland Brown-ies: Those will either be small sweet pieces of chocolate cake that aren't very good or the cookies from the Lake Erie Girl Scout Council.

The Jake Delhomme: A delectable assortment of turnovers.

This will be a total football experience. You will have a coin flip to choose your meal.

But be aware. You will need a two-minute warning to use the restroom.

On with the picks. Last week: 16-7 (.696). Season: 48-19 (.716).

HIGH SCHOOLS

North Hagerstown 44, North East 12

South Hagerstown 13, Smithsburg 12

Catoctin 31, Boonsboro 19

Williamsport 27, Brunswick 24

Hancock 32, Shade 21

Clay-Battelle 38, Clear Spring 13

Chambersburg 20, Cedar Cliff 14

Middletown (Pa.) 34, Waynesboro 14

Greencastle 21, Hershey 17

Petersburg 40, Berkeley Springs 20

Jefferson 23, Sherando 21

Washington 19, Musselman 14

University 33, Hedgesville 12

Martinsburg 27, Fort Hill 21

Hun School 31, Mercersburg Academy 26

St. James 24, Randolph Macon 7

COLLEGES

Rutgers 23, Maryland 20

Penn State 34, Iowa 23

Shepherd 20, Charleston 10

PROS

Ravens 37, Browns 13

Redskins 17, Lions 16

Steelers 24, Bengals 20

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