Advertisement

"Transformers" sequel too crude for kids

Movie review: "Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen"

Movie review: "Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen"

June 29, 2009|By ROBERT GARVER / Special to The Herald-Mail

"Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen" is something to be ashamed of.

Why was this movie allowed to be released? Weren't there hundreds of people whose job it was to make sure it wouldn't be like this? Will any of them ever work again? They might if they lie on their resumes.

The film is a sequel to the 2007 movie "Transformers," itself based on a popular cartoon and line of toys. For those new to the franchise, Transformers are fighting robots from another planet that live undercover on Earth disguised as everyday objects. There are good-guy Transformers called Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, and bad-guy robots called Decepticons, led by Megatron.

The point of the movie is supposed to be simple: Give kids a few thrilling hours that get them to go out and buy the toys. But "Revenge of The Fallen" can't even succeed on this level because the movie is too crude for kids. It isn't unusual for a movie like this to be too violent for kids, but there's no reason for it to be this crude.

Advertisement

"Revenge of The Fallen" has inappropriate dog behavior, inappropriate bathroom behavior, drug references, ethnic slurs, too much swearing, even robot genetalia.

The movie starts off with Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) going off to college. His plans involve distancing himself from the Autobots and maintaining a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox). The movie follows Sam and his annoying parents, annoying roommate, and annoying teacher for what seems like ab hour before the Decepticons make their presence known. They want Sam because he knows the location of a secret weapon that threatens humanity. Sam, some secondary characters, and the Autobots spend the rest of the movie trying to reach the weapon before the Decepticons can get their claws on it.

Again, the stars of the movie are supposed to be the awesome robots, but director Michael Bay wastes too much time developing the human characters, who we all know shouldn't stand a chance against the machines.

My theory is that Bay was sick and tired of hearing people complain about how his movies were brain-dead collections of crashes and explosions. He decided to go hours without showing crashes or explosions to show everyone how boring his movies would be without them. I guess he's right, the movie is boring. But it's also still brain-dead.

The action sequences aren't even that exciting. And some things are hard to figure out. The robots are supposed to have human-like bodies, but they whip each other around so much that it's hard to tell if we're looking at their heads or backs or anything else.

I try to be nice to movies. I know a lot of people work hard on each film, the process is long and frustrating, sometimes jokes and scenes don't come off the way writers intend them to, and the actors try to make characters come to life on screen.

But there's no way "Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen" can be this bad by accident. This is one of the stupidest movies ever made.

o "Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen" is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, language, some crude and sexual material, and brief drug material. Its runtime is 149 minutes.

The Herald-Mail Articles
|
|
|