Kelly's Cuts

A look at the world of Mail Call

A look at the world of Mail Call

April 30, 2009|By KELLY MORENO

"Today is April 1. It is time for everybody to now take down their Christmas decorations." - Maugansville

Already? This was just an April Fool's Day joke, right?

"I should be as lucky as the caller complaining about their neighbors with their Christmas decorations still up. My neighbor still has her Halloween scarecrow up, as well as the pumpkins, which are now pretty putrefied - still sitting in their front yard. I would love to see Christmas decorations." - Hagerstown

See, here's someone who does want to see Christmas decorations now.

"I'm calling in regards to the person on Wednesday, March 25 Mail Call who is saying about the coffee can exhausts and people's loud stereos and stuff, riding around Hagerstown, and how there's a difference between people with their little import cars and true car enthusiasts. Well, just to let the gentleman know, I spent about $10,000 of my own hard-earned money on my car. It top speeds about 170 mph, and it's faster and nicer, and I probably won a lot more trophies with it than he ever has with his classic car or his hot rod." - Hagerstown


I hope this caller doesn't go 170 mph unless he's on the racetrack. After all, he might miss seeing the Christmas decorations if he's going that fast.

"I see where Hillary Rodham Clinton is over in Mexico, and blaming the U.S. for the drug war. This is a typical Democrat remark. They always go to the other country and blame the U.S." - Boonsboro

Right, it's not like there's a market for illegal drugs in this country or anything.

"OK, I know the time went up an hour, and now does the gas have to follow, and try to get as high as the time?"

Yes, and once the price of gas reaches $12 a gallon, it will then go down to $1, then $2, $3 and so forth, until it reaches $12 a gallon; then back down again.

A "high five" to these callers:

"With the death of Nick Adenhart, I hope all of the prom goers, graduates, and their parents remember a young man who had so much ahead of him the next time they choose to drink and drive. I hope that parents will remember to set an example of how you never get behind the wheel after drinking. Parents, take responsibility, and don't let your children and their guests drink, even at your home. What message does this send by choosing to drink and drive? This sounds preachy, I know, but look at how a whole community and our nation are mourning due to the senselessness of one person who chose to drink and drive. By remembering Nick Adenhart, many lives can be saved over the next few months. God bless him." - Hagerstown

"Dogs bark because they want or need something. A lot of dogs bark out of boredom, and their owners need to pay some attention to them. Some dogs bark because they have something called 'separation anxiety' from their owners. Give them long walks at least once or twice a day, chew toys, and spend time with them. As an owner of many dogs in my life, I know this will help with the barking issue." - Clear Spring

"It has been 57 years since Pearl Harbor, and not since then has this country been poised to change more dramatically than in 2009. 'Victory gardens' are going to be fashionable again. People will be making sacrifices for family and friends who lost their jobs. Buying will go out of vogue. The poor will get poorer. Come on, America, show the world how good we are. We need to survive, and we will." - Robinwood, Hagerstown

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant at The Herald-Mail. 'Kelly's Cuts' will appear every other Thursday.

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