Kelly's Cuts

A wry look at the world of Mail Call

A wry look at the world of Mail Call

February 26, 2009|By KELLY MORENO

o "I'd like to see someone take the Richardson's Restaurant out on Dual Highway and turn it into a 1950s restaurant. Have the music, the dress, the menu, the big old jukebox that gave you five songs for a quarter, poodle skirts and saddle shoes. I think that would be cool." - Hagerstown

Even better, how about 1950s prices? Now that would be really cool.

o "I work in a restaurant, and I saw one of the servers totally gross me out. She took a spoon that was in the strawberries and took a bite, and put the spoon back in the strawberries. It just makes you not want to eat in a restaurant anymore." - Hagerstown

It makes me want to avoid the strawberries, that's for sure.

o "Eating gnats and swallowing camels is not the job of a politician."

Maybe we could make that the punishment for the server who put her used spoon back into the strawberries.


o "Sweet and short: Whoever's taking my paper out of my mailbox up on Mount Tabor Road, I got a shotgun ...12-gauge. I pay for these papers. You pay for yours." - Hagerstown

That sounds a bit harsh ... but at least someone's defending the paper.

o "I just read in the paper where they're going to cut mail delivery. If they did away with all the junk mail, they could cut the delivery people in half." - Hagerstown

Oh dear. I've heard of going postal, but this is a new level of violence.

o "Is the criteria to get something printed in Mail Call to say 'I bet this won't be printed' or threaten not to buy the paper anymore? Boo to you, Herald-Mail, for printing such childish statements. Double boo to the whiners who are complaining about not being printed. Oh yeah, I bet you won't print this, and if you don't, I won't buy this paper anymore, and I'll beat you with a wet noodle." - Hagerstown

Will the violence never end?

o "I've called the police numerous times about people in handicapped spots illegally, and I wait for the police to arrive. That way if the person comes out and gets in their car, I can say something to them face to face, which has happened several times. But these people are spineless. They jump in their car and they speed off."

If a person with no spine were really able to jump into a car, that would not be a violation, but a miracle.

o "I just want to let those people know that being an idiot is not a handicap."

We agree. Not knowing that usurping a disabled person's parking place is idiotic is the real handicap.

A "high five" to these callers:

o "Before anyone approves building another shopping center in Washington County, according to CNN, our country has six times more retail space per capita than any other country in the world. We're just cannibalizing our existing stores by building more stores, even when sales aren't increasing and it doesn't look like they will be increasing for some time, due to the economy." - Hagerstown

o "In the recent past, vandals uprooted newly planted trees, and now 20 gravestones have been toppled in Martinsburg. This kind of vandalism takes a lot of strength and energy. If only these people would use their energy to do good deeds, what a wonderful world this could be." - Boonsboro

o "Just an observation: It's a snowy, beautiful day. School is canceled, and in my neighborhood, not one kid is outside enjoying it. Am I missing something, or are they?" - Martinsburg, W.Va.

Kelly Moreno is a Herald--Mail columnist.

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