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Kelly's Cuts

A wry look at the world of Mail Call

A wry look at the world of Mail Call

December 04, 2008

"I just wanted to let everybody know you may be seeing a strange object in the skies over Sharpsburg. My wife wanted a new vehicle, so I bought her the first '09 broom in the Hagerstown area, and she just loves it. She's been riding it all over the place. So don't be alarmed, it'll be just her, making her rounds." - Sharpsburg
I hope she stays out of my lane. I'm not used to sharing the skies.

"Well, I'm glad me and my sweet 70-pound dog don't live within the Hagerstown city limits. And what color sheets do people who suffer from dogism wear?" - Clear Spring
I don't know, but you can bet they're not covered in doggy hair like the sheets of us dog lovers.

"Shame on The Herald-Mail. Change your name to the Moscow Daily News."
Oh, great, now we have to learn Russian?

"Now that The Maryland Theatre is a tavern, can I bring a six-pack to the library?" - Fairplay
Sorry, but everybody knows you shouldn't drink and read. The words get all blurry.

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A "high five" to these callers:

o "I'm calling to say thank you to the teachers and Board of Education staff who go the extra mile every day, by staying late to take care of kids with transportation and after school issues. The paper never prints anything to acknowledge teachers and staff for their daily extra effort.

"We only hear the negative, when a kid gets on the wrong bus or arrives at home while the parents are at work. A few needy, vocal parents are trying to shift traditional parental responsibilities of raising kids and being there for them onto the BOE ... 20 to 30 kids for six or more hours a day, five days a week. A little support and cooperation would go a long way. Some days, teachers like to go home on time, too." - Smithsburg

o "This is in response to the caller who said that teachers knew what they were getting into when they went to college. Parents should also have known what they were getting into when they had children.

"They should realize it is their job to assist in the educational process, to feed and to clothe them, to teach them manners, courtesy and responsibility. They should also instruct them about the facts of life. If they did all of these things, then teachers could do what they went to college for. They could teach."

o "I'm calling about the cats. People don't ask for donations. We do this on their own. Humans are the problem, not the cats. Be responsible; get your cats spayed and neutered. When they're not cute and cuddly anymore, don't throw them to the streets, because they have a hard enough life.

"You know, they're the ones that's out in the cold. No warm bed to sleep in, no warm lap to lay in. They have a hard life as it is, so don't compound the problem. They have a hard life out here, and it's humans that made it that way for them.

"So quit complaining. You know, they're not the problem, we are. So be responsible. Get your cats spayed and neutered."

- Hagerstown

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant with The Herald-Mail. Her column appears every other Thursday.

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