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Big Sydney - Syd tries to be life of the JoParty

November 20, 2008

This is the day I have been dreading for a while.

No, not because my 15-week work year is coming to an end and I'm going to have to figure out how to spend 37 weeks of vacation. Don't worry about that, but it has to do with sweets, sweat and Speedos (Don't ask but there might be photos on an Internet near you).

No, this Saturday could mark the possible last home game for Penn State coach Joe Paterno. The Nittany Lion fixture will be at the end of his contract when the season ends and there is a slim possibility he might be at the end of his 43-year career as head coach at the school.

I am spending my week to get ready for the occasion by preparing things and mailing out fliers to areas to rename things just for the week in honor of the longtime coach.

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For example:

The only way to get to Beaver Stadium this week is to take the Joe Paternpike.

When you enter the stadium, you will have to go through the JoPaternstiles and walk to your seat through the JoPavillion.

Everyone who goes to the game will be part of the JoPaternout.

On your way, stop at the concession stand, where they will be featuring JoPaternovers.

In the souvenir stands, there will be pictures of the coach to buy, suitable for hanging. They are JoPa Prints.

All football players who react to a situation will be labeled as having Paternol instincts.

All wide receivers will be running slant, post and fly JoePatterns.

But to top it off, I'm going to dress myself in honor of the man who helped put college football on the map.

I'm going to wear whale pants with turned up cuffs and football shoes. It will be accessorized by a whistle (obviously) and a cane (unfortunately ... that isn't hip). I will keep my pants up with a JoPaternbuckle and I'll look snazzy in my JoPaturncoat and I'll make sure it has a frat insignia on it.

That way I can call it my JoPaternity suit.

On with the picks. Last week: 8-2 (.800). Season: 149-69 (.684).

HIGH SCHOOLS

South Charleston 27, Martinsburg 14

COLLEGES

West Virginia 31, Louisville 24

Penn State 38, Michigan State 17

Maryland 24, Florida State 20

PROS

Steelers 35, Bengals 13

Eagles 17, Ravens 13

Redskins 27, Seahawks 24

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