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This funk seems unshakeable

November 13, 2008|By BIG SYDNEY

This is the time of year I dread.

It's not that the football season is winding down. Nor is it that it is getting cold outside and I have to wear a shirt (my neighbors seem pretty happy about that, though) and fur-lined coaching shorts.

Quick aside: I take that back. There is one thing I do hate. When I do my whistle-blowing workout in this weather, my lips stick to my whistle like Ralphie's tongue to the streetlight pole in "A Christmas Story."

But this is the time of year I start running out of ideas.

My mind is as mushy as Detroit's offense.

It wanders as much as me at a tailgate buffet.

It's as empty as the veggie crisper in my fridge.

I feel like I'm writing a Jerry Seinfeld episode.

I was looking for subject matter to write about. I went to bustling downtown Dargan and found the shop that sells ideas and Isaac Hayes and Richard Roundtree memorabilia. It's called Mind Shaft.

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It didn't help.

So here I am, with a bunch of unconnectable thoughts and notions that I can't figure out, like:

If you get penalized 5 yards for illegal motion and illegal procedure, shouldn't you get 5 yards for legal motions and legal procedures?

If that Antietam TV show (which is on Thursdays at 7, even though I'm not on it) is covering football, cross country and soccer, how can it be called Inside Sports?

And speaking of that show, did Dan Kauffman shave his head or lose a fight with a pencil sharpener?

Did Baltimore draft that quarterback on purpose or was that a publicity stunt? I've heard of Flock of Seagulls, but not Flacco Ravens. Then again, both are best known for "I Ran."

Considering the trend of Maryland's football team, they could beat a group of clerks who were voted the best in their business. They would be the rank and filers.

I just hope I can shake this funk I'm in. As you can see, it's affected my prognosticating abilities.

When that happens to me, considering the profession I'm in, does that mean I have a mental block and tackle?

On with the picks. Last week: 5-8 (.385). Season: 141-67 (.678).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Smithsburg 27, Allegany 20

Fort Hill 34, Boonsboro 14

Greencastle-Antrim 31, Garden Spot 20

Martinsburg 28, Cabell Midland 27

South Charleston 45, Musselman 13

COLLEGES

Maryland 31, North Carolina 28

Penn State 41, Indiana 10

PROS

Giants 17, Ravens 10

Steelers 27, Chargers 17

Cowboys 28, Redskins 23

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