Syd contemplates his campaign trail

November 06, 2008|By BIG SYDNEY

Sure, Tuesday was a historic day in American history, but not as historic as it could have been.

That's because, I, Big Sydney, almost tossed my yellow flag into the ring to make a run for president.

I had the whole thing covered.

I wasn't invited to the Republican or Democratic conventions, so there was only one way I was going to get the nomination. I needed to find another affiliation to get me in.

I thought about the Green Party, but look at me, I don't exactly eat vegetables.

So, I turned to my favorite political faction ... The Tailgate Party.

Now I was off and running. I thought I might be a little different with my campaigning as I headed across the country. I wanted to do something that everyone would remember.

So I was going to ride horses and find long standards to wave the flag from. There was no place better to go for that than to Dargan's stable and patriotic store -- Gallop Polls -- to get the things I needed.

Then, I went to work on the issues.

I vowed to get a good, strong running mate. He will get at least 100 yards per game.

The only inflation in my administration would be to give game balls the proper amount of air.

I won't be asking for any new tax. I have enough of them to attach all my press clippings to the walls.

Foreign policy? The NFL will play in London earlier in the season.

I'm old-fashioned. I still believe that a quarterback should take all snaps from under center. So, I guess I'm for gun control.

I would outlaw Hail Mary passes at prep games to help keep prayer out of our schools.

And I really think in order to prevent another Spygate situation, we should have a strong Patriot Act.

So I was ready to make a run for it. I even got floor plans from the White House to see if I could move my 90-inch flat screen and all my prognostication gear into the Oval Office for Sundays.

That was the best place to make my picks because as president, no one could force me into a corner.

On with the picks. Last week: 9-10 (.474). Season: 136-59 (.697).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Bishop Walsh 30, Hancock 6

South Hagerstown 21, North Hagerstown 14

Smithsburg 22, Boonsboro 21

Williamsport 27, Clear Spring 7

Jefferson 28, Washington 14

Berkeley Springs 17, Hedgesville 6

Martinsburg 35, Eastern Tech 13

Greencastle-Antrim 22, Kennard-Dale 6

COLLEGES