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Just call me Mr. Green Jeans

October 02, 2008|By BIG SYDNEY

It doesn't take much to inspire me.

The other day, I was in the fridge looking for a snack and found a two-month-old slice of something. I didn't know what it used to be. It was covered with that furry stuff that penecillin is made from.

Right then, I decided that I'm going to go green.

How tough can it be?

First, I went and researched the issue. I headed over to Dargan's local pilot school/recycling center -- Fly Like an Eco (I think it's owned by Steve Miller) -- to do a little research.

It gave me some ideas.

I'm going to start using a manual or electric recliner in front of the TV. No more gas. That means the pregame meal of bratwurst, sauerkraut and baked beans is now a thing of the past.

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And now, dessert is lime Jell-O or key lime pie ... or maybe both.

I'm going to start rooting for the Green Bay Packers, obviously. And I'm going to start pulling for Randy and Santana Moss.

Favorite NFL Hall of Famers? Joe Greene and Darrell Green.

My favorite band is now Green Day.

Boy, I can't wait to start watching those "Green Acres" episodes. Eb was so misunderstood and that Arnold Ziffle ... he was such a pig.

I now think that Bones, the doctor on Star Trek, is my favorite actor. His real name is DeFOREST KELLY. Now isn't that true blue, I mean, keen green.

I guess I have to start eating vegetables. (Ho, ho, ho. Not even the Green Giant can make that happen).

I've started reading The Herald-Mail online. After checking out those chuckleheads who pick against me, I streak over to read anything and everything by Julie Greene in Lifestyle.

I think Popeye is lucky to have Olive now.

I'm starting a campaign to find Mr. Greenjeans.

The thing I love the most about this whole process is how it is going to affect all those other pretend pickers out there.

Not only will I be good, my popularity will go through the roof and it will draw attention to this cause.

What color is envy?

On with the predictions. Last week 16-7 (.696), season 63-27 (.700).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Winters Mill 31, North Hagerstown 24

South Hagerstown 27, Clear Spring 7

Boonsboro 19, South Carroll 14

Brunswick 20, Williamsport 15

Susquehanna Township 34, Chambersburg 23

Greencastle 17, Red Land 13

Camp Hill 41, James Buchanan 18

Musselman 27, Jefferson 23

Martinsburg 49, Hedgesville 18

Southern Garrett 31, Hancock 7

Parkersburg South 35, Washington 12

Moorefield 28, Berkeley Springs 13

Waynesboro 34, West Perry 14

Smithsburg 30, Walkersville 12

Blair Academy 31, Mercersburg Academy 13

Flint Hill 26, St. James 16

COLLEGES

Maryland 27, Virginia 10

Penn State 44, Purdue 13

West Virginia 31, Rutgers 17

Shepherd 37, Charleston 31

PROS

Titans 27, Ravens 17

Redskins 24, Eagles 21

Jaguars 19, Steelers 16

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