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Kelly's Cuts

A wry look at the world of Mail Call

A wry look at the world of Mail Call

August 21, 2008|By KELLY MORENO

"The Georgia that is in the news these days is not - I repeat - is not our state of Georgia in the U.S. The Georgia in the news is a small, independent country that shares one of its borders with the country of Russia." - Boonsboro

Oh. That's very different. Never mind ...




"This is to the caller who said about the Russian troops invading Georgia. They need to learn their geography. It's not the state of Georgia. It's the country of Georgia, in Europe." - Hagerstown

OK, but they sure had a lot of nerve, naming their country after our state, don't you think?




"I'm really worried about the Russians in Georgia. Are they gonna take away the oranges from Florida? And what's President Bush gonna do about this problem? I want to know."

I don't know, but I'll bet that orange-flavored vodka will be popular.




"Today on the news, they said that the president interrupted his vacation in order to deal with the problem in Georgia. George had already been on vacation for two weeks. Also, six days in China."

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Well, naturally he wants to take care of Georgia, since he thinks the folks there were nice enough to name their country after him.




A "high five" to these callers:

o "All of these people keep going around saying John McCain is not a war hero. Well, let me tell you something. Anyone and everyone that has ever put on a military uniform and served to protect you and your right to say such things is a true hero." - Funkstown

o "People are complaining about the animals being all over the place - deer and bears and everything coming up into your yard. What do you expect these animals to do, when they keep cutting down all the trees, cutting down their homes to build homes for us? They have to have homes, too. And I don't think that shopping center should go in. Hagerstown will never come back as long as they keep building shopping centers." - Falling Waters, W.Va.

o "I read with all the foreclosures, there's a huge rise in pets being abandoned or turned in to shelters, because the owners can't afford to feed them or take them with them when they're losing their homes. So in these hard times, I hope everyone remembers to give generously, give a dollar or two, whatever you can afford, to our local animal shelter." - Hagerstown

o "Four hundred twenty thousand gallons of oil spilled in the Mississippi. They're trying to clean up now, so it doesn't poison the drinking water down there. Think green, people. We've got to get away from oil. We can live without oil, but we can't live without water to drink, food to eat, and clean air." - Washington County

o "There's a lot of articles in the paper about copper theft and catalytic converter theft. My question is doesn't anybody at the recycler question anything about this? I mean, if a man rolls up in a truck and he's got four brand-new rolls of copper that weigh a thousand pounds, doesn't that seem to be a little bit conspicuous, when he's selling it for scrap? With a half dozen catalytic converters, doesn't that kind of raise a flag? You should be getting all the information you can and contacting the police so they can check it out." - Hagerstown

Kelly Moreno is a Herald-Mail columnist.

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