Kelly's Cuts and more

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

July 10, 2008

"Calling about Tuesday's paper, with the picture of the black bear jumping the fence in Williamsport. What's more shocking to everyone, that there's a black bear in Williamsport, or that the officer gave up his doughnut? Ha ha." - Hagerstown
The officer only gave up his doughnut because the bear said "Do you know who I am?"

"This really is quite interesting. They have just shown on TV a bear that - I think it was in California, somewhere out there - he clawed a woman because the woman dared to go near him. I think he was eating her sunflower seeds or something. Anyway, he really and truly gave her a good clawing." - Williamsport
Sunflower seeds? Well, of course he clawed her. He didn't want that healthy food - he wanted a doughnut.

"Thanks to the wisdom of our political leaders at all levels, city, county, state and federal, we now have an airport without air service, a university with a few students, and an ice skating rink without skaters. What else can they find to do with our tax dollars?" - Smithsburg
How about a doughnut shop just for black bears? Wait - that might actually be used. Never mind.


"The article in The Herald Mail about school lunches is the same old rhetoric that shows our government is way off course, and your reporter is brainwashed just like the rest of us.
"How can we say that the food is free? Does it just fall out of the sky? Isn't it the truth that the taxpayer is paying for it?

"And you would think from the article that the program is a success because it is growing. That is brainwashed thinking. Giving something away for 'free' usually is popular. Where are the parents and where are the clear-thinking people in our government?" - Boonsboro
Eating lunch?

"Most theaters around the country allow alcohol in the lobby. There is no need for it during the performance itself. Certainly the people of Hagerstown can do without alcohol for an hour or so during a performance."
That is, unless they're coming to see me sing and dance.

A "High five" to these callers:

"I'd like to know what the people are thinking who, when they call in or write in here complaining about certain bad roads or places where the police need to enforce stop signs, or people living here with out-of-state license plates, and all that sort of thing, when it would be so much more conducive to getting results if you actually called the entity responsible."

"They can't fix something if they don't know it's broken, and they're not going to read Mail Call . . . but it's easier to just call in and complain than to have to look up a number."

"This gas crunch is not a good thing; I don't like it either, but it might give people time to stop and see how they're living their lives. Maybe they could spend more quality time with their children."

"Sometimes we don't appreciate what we have, and then something like this might stop us in our tracks and realize that we're complaining all the time. We're not thankful for what we have. Because there's an old saying 'What the good Lord giveth, he can also take away.' Instead of complaining all the time about the phone books and everything else, which street is the bumpiest, why don't some of you just get down on your knees and thank the good Lord above that we have been living in an area that hasn't had tornadoes, hurricanes ... " - Waynesboro, Pa.

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant with The Herald-Mail. "Kelly's Cuts" will appear every other Thursday. Frequently-asked questions will be answered in Mail Call by staff reporters.

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