Kelly's Cuts and more

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

June 26, 2008

"Instead of the president passing the buck, George could, by executive order, drill for oil. Could someone mention that to him?" - Hagerstown
I'll be sure to mention it the next time I'm hanging out with him at his ranch.

"Is the lady being blackballed for talking about company vehicles being used for personal use? She ought to go on them like ugly on an ape."
Apes might not appreciate that remark.

"I hope some official with some common sense puts a stop to this."
And I hope leprechauns riding unicorns show up to clean my house for me.

"At $3.60/gallon, I hope they don't pull me over when I don't stop at a stop sign." - Hagerstown
Just think of the gasoline you'll save if you cause an accident and go to the big stop sign in the sky.


"This is to the City of Hagerstown. I'd like to know why there is a white tandem dump truck driving around town, truck number 207, and it always has two guys in it. It don't take two guys to drive one dump truck, and it rarely ever has a load on it. I think that's a waste of fuel." - Hagerstown
So how much fuel would it save if only one guy were in the truck, and the city gave the two guys separate trucks?

"I was reading your column, Tim Rowland. I guess you pay the paper for letting you print that, for surely they wouldn't pay you for your remarks." - Washington County
We agree, but he's paying us with produce from his farm and with the price of groceries today, we just can't afford to turn it down.

A "High five" to these callers:

· "I live on Irvin Avenue, close to North High, and my neighbor called in about we need speed bumps. How do we get speed bumps? There was another animal killed on Irvin Avenue. And if we don't get speed bumps, would they like me to raise the speed limit sign, take down the 25 and put up a 55 or 65? Because that's the way people drive on that road. They're either racing or going way up beyond the speed limit, and you always see dead animals on the road. So they ought to do something about it." - Hagerstown

· "I read in this column daily, people complaining about gas prices and whining about how President Bush isn't doing enough to bring them down.

"What are we, a nation of children? The last time gas skyrocketed, back around 1979 or 1980, most of us bought smaller cars, carpooled and found other ways to reduce consumption.

"With all the whining, I am still seeing most of the cars with only one person in them. While I realize some job schedules are not compatible for carpooling, this is simply not true of the rest. Reduce demand, prices will come down.

"Stop looking to government to solve everything. It's time to grow up."

· "I was looking in the paper and saw the SPCA's Pet of the Week, and it said that the cat was 3 years old and its owner didn't think she could take care of it anymore.

"It's ridiculous. You look at the SPCA's reasons why they have the cats, and it says 'Owner surrender.'

"Don't get a pet unless you can commit to taking care of it for the rest of its life. It's just ridiculous. They're not disposable products." - Clear Spring

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant with The Herald-Mail. "Kelly's Cuts" will appear every other Thursday. Frequently-asked questions will be answered in Mail Call by staff reporters.

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