Kelly's Cuts and more

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

April 24, 2008

"Please do not vote for Condoleezza Rice as vice president. She is a clone of George W. Bush."

So that's why they look so much alike.

"Since O'Malley took all our money, there ain't been nothing to do but sit around and count the hairs on a hog's back. I guess if home rule gets voted in, they will make a rule against that." - Pondsville

Of course there should be a rule against counting the hairs on a hog's back; it has to tickle, wouldn't you think?

"In my opinion, any attempts to bring business to the downtown area would be comparable to 'putting lipstick on a pig'." - Cavetown


Maybe the pig wants to look pretty for that hog who's getting his hairs counted.

"The EPA, which is a special-interest group, has lowered the ozone limits, so Washington County has failed again. OK, so what? We don't care. This air is clean enough for everybody to live in this area."

Exactly - why worry about the ozone, when the drug-infested water and the cancer-causing radon will probably get us first anyhow.

"'Horton Hears a Who': Many believe in the Big Bang theory, the creation of the universe, but where was the space to create the space that we now call space, and what happened and what existed before the 'Big Bang'? Where did the space come from? Where did all this room come from? Or are we just simply living on a clover?" - Hagerstown

I'm thinking someone's living on a different plant - or planet.

"The American flag, along with the Confederate flag, does not walk or talk."

Flags might talk if you're living on that planet.

"We are in the process of choosing a president. Guess who is running? Bozo, Clara Belle and Rambo." - Hagerstown

So things are looking up after all.

A "High Five" to these callers:

"Perhaps a better headline for Saturday's paper should have read "Maryland state trooper saves life of fellow officer." After all, the guy (allegedly) pulled his gun first. Had the trooper reacted differently, who knows how many other lives might have been lost that day? Unlike the bad guys, police officers are not in the habit of shooting individuals at random. There is provocation and justification. Instead of vilifying the police, let's be grateful that there are still those willing to put themselves in jeopardy and sacrifice themselves, if necessary, to protect the rest of us. And let's not forget that just a few months ago, a different guy (allegedly) murdered an innocent young mother and later killed a young police officer in cold blood." - Falling Waters, W.Va.

"I would like to respond to Mr. Miller's March 13 letter regarding children and homosexual marriage. Mr. Miller is afraid of the damage these marriages will cause our future generations. A traditional marriage does not guarantee a good example of what a relationship between two people should be. A child is naturally a loving and open person. The only way a child would be damaged or confused by a homosexual marriage is if it is presented to him in that manner by an adult. Children learn what they are taught. Even if there are issues we do not believe in, children still need to be taught acceptance." - Maugansville

"I'm not so old and bitter that I can't remember being a kid. I'll guarantee you that we had respect for our elders, and did not do the things the kids are doing today. We also had parents who cared, and we got punished when we needed it. We didn't go out and tear up and break into our schools." - Hagerstown

"Way to go, Shelby, for daring to be different, and for having the courage of your convictions, for tapping your creativity to design and construct a prom gown from recyclables, wearing it proudly, and donating it to a Ronald McDonald benefit. It shows initiative, and a willingness to march to a different drummer. You are amazing." - Martinsburg, W.Va.

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant with The Herald-Mail. "Kelly's Cuts" will appear every other Thursday. Frequently-asked questions will be answered in Mail Call by staff reporters.

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