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Alone or together, make Valentine's Day better

February 12, 2008|By SALLY NEWLIN / Pulse Contributor

Everyone knows Valentine's Day. The day when couples do something extra special for each other, such as go out to eat, take a romantic walk on the beach, the list goes on.

But some people don't have that opportunity. These are the people who are single and don't have someone to share this special time with. So they sit there all alone or they just do nothing for the day and feel sad as they watch other couples go by.

In our society, being in love is a huge thing, especially on Valentine's Day. But not everyone is so perfect on Valentine's Day. I could say that I myself last year on Valentine's Day I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend and it just ruined the whole day for both of us.

So here are some tips to avoid all the fuss and anger that is Valentine's Day.

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The first thing that comes to mind is "Whatever will I get the one I love for V-day to show my appreciation?" and this is usually followed by a long time of looking and money spending.

Some, like Amy Harbaugh, 16, of Hagerstown, are going to a candlelit dinner while others like myself are just going to stay home and talk to my loved one for hours. Nothing special.

Now let's move on to those who don't have anyone. Some stay depressed or sad for awhile, especially on Valentine's Day. Some, like Denis Mitchell, 16, a student at Washington County Technical High School, usually avoid everything associated with the day and try distracting themselves so they won't have to worry about it. But when they think about it they get sad/depressed/angry. Others, like Maria Jenkins, 16, of Hancock, do the same but just shrug it off and go on with life. It doesn't hide the sadness/anger/depression they feel, but they all know that they must move on and not worry about it. Asked what advice they had for people who also don't have a valentine, they said keep looking, stay positive because there's always someone out there for somebody. Just remember things will get better. Enjoy being single. You're not the only one who is single. Flirting never hurts, it brings people closer.

I also asked these people and people in a relationship what advice they had for people who do have someone. They said things like always be faithful and maintain trust, and spend time together and let them know you care. But the best advice I think I got was from Maria Jenkins. She said, " Be sure to keep on to your significant other, because if you let them go or deceive them, eventually you're going to regret it." She's so right. Sometimes, like last year for me, Valentine's Day becomes a battlefield. One mistake happens and everything, such as your plans and happiness, crashes. And all we can think is that it's all our fault and that we screwed up. But even though it looks bad, when the problem goes by and you both feel better after solving it, your love is stronger, even if you can't see it.

Valentine's Day can also be used to make a relationship that's going downhill better. You could set a nice meal up or a nice night together with just the two of you and no one else, and talk to each other calmly. Being calm is the most important thing when dealing with problems. If you start screaming and such, the instant reaction of the other person is to do the same back. So stay calm, enjoy each other's company, and express how you really feel. Don't be afraid to speak your mind, because not only will it make you feel better, but it will also help your significant other understand how you feel and realize where he/she messed up or where you messed up. You could also get closer by showing how much you care for the other person with gifts and such.

Valentine's Day can be awesome, but it can also be terrible. It's just how you view it and how you act upon it.

Now here are some tips to follow for those of you who have no one this Valentine's Day:

1. Distract yourself. Go out with some other single friends, play videogames, treat yourself. Remember, being single can sometimes be a good thing. It could be a day when you celebrate being single and not having to have all the relationship woes like your friends. 'Cause face it, drama sucks. And relationships have a lot of that.

2. Don't let it get to you. It's just one useless holiday of the year. It's another day on the calendar. It will pass.

3. Have a crush, give them chocolates and tell them how you feel. Do it face to face. It tells the person you like that you don't have a lot of confidence when you send a text message or something.

4. Don't be in a slump. Keep a positive outlook on things. As I said earlier, it's just a day, so why get upset?

Now here are some tips for all you people in a relationship:

1. Don't freak about gifts. Just being there with them shows you care, But if you must persist on getting something, try a card or make something, heck, baking would be awesome for your boyfriends. Guys love sweets.

2. If you have a bad day on Valentine's Day, don't mess it up for your boyfriend/girlfriend. Just because you had a bad day doesn't mean you make it a bad day for them, too. It's OK to tell them what's wrong, but throwing fits and blaming them isn't.

3. Don't complain. If you didn't get a box of chocolates or something, too bad. You should smile and say thank you because most likely they put lots of thought into that gift and your complaining would make them feel like they wasted their money.

4. Have fun. Even if it rains while you're outside waiting on a table and get canceled, just have fun and laugh.

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