Kelly's Cuts

February 07, 2008

Kelly's Cuts and more: A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

"Pertaining to the TV coverage of 'Looking Good Naked', it's the most repulsive thing anyone could ever sponsor."

Well, not as repulsive as "Looking Bad Naked."

"I just heard a great suggestion: Tax people on their thoughts. Whenever you think, there should be some kind of a monitor implanted in all the Maryland taxpayers, to be taxed on."

Oh, dear. How is the state ever going to make any money with that tax?

"Do people have any common sense? Do they have to be told everything? Lord, what is this world coming to?" - Hagerstown

No, yes, and a place where people have no common sense and have to be told everything.

"We, the American people, are lemmings, led along by our nose rings."

Do lemmings stop running long enough to get nose rings?

"The traffic back-up on I-70 was because they were doing bridge work and a crane fell down, and they had to tear that crane apart and haul another crane in and use a crane to tear that other one apart, plus a lot of workers."


I'm glad I wasn't one of those workers.

"Go out and get a secondhand job if you want to." - Hagerstown

Sometimes a secondhand job is just as good as a brand-new job with the tags still on.

"Just like the light bulb, it's about time Americans start standing up for theirself."

I want one of those special light bulbs. Mine keep wobbling and falling over when I try to stand them up.

"Why can't the government build housing for low-income people who do work but can't afford high rent and mortgages?" - Hagerstown

Because that would make sense.

"After the man's dead, they want to come in, and county commissioners want to tell him he's got to tear his fence down for his dogs, or fine him $1,000 a day."

I'll bet the dogs would be very happy if he tore down the fence: Freedom!

"It seems to me that if you have 1,200 kids and you are a single female that you can get all the help in the world, but if you're a single father you cannot get nothing."

It seems to me if you have 1,200 kids, you need all the help in the world.

A "high five" to these callers:

"In response to the person commenting about teachers receiving another raise this year; let me start by saying I am not a teacher. I would not ever want the responsibility of teaching tomorrow's adults. I believe every teacher needs a raise at least once a year.

"Do you not realize these teachers work day, night, and weekends? Your hourly wage is probably more than theirs, if you would consider the extra hours they have to put in to teach your children.

"So what if they drive nice cars? Maybe they have saved their pennies and can afford a new car because they do not have time to do extracurricular things, because they are too busy grading papers and working on assignments.

"I cannot believe the mentality of people that think teachers should not be very high paid professionals, when they do so much for our children's futures. Where would you be now if it were not for a teacher?" - Hagerstown

"I was really upset to read that article about bullying in the schools. Bullying was one of the factors which led Harris and Klebold to attack Columbine High School. County administrators, teachers, coaches and others need to really crack down on bullying, whenever and wherever it occurs." - Hagerstown

"Everyone is complaining about being broke, but when you go by all the local restaurants at dinner time the parking lots are full." -

Clear Spring

The Herald-Mail Articles