Kelly's Cuts and more

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

December 27, 2007|By KELLY MORENO

"Back in the '50s you had to be 15 to get a license. Now you can be in diapers and go hunting."

As long as you get back in time to watch "SpongeBob" and take your nap.

"After all these years, the truth has finally come out about steroid use in baseball. Now they have to do a follow-up - football, basketball, hockey, soccer. We're talking about growth hormones, right? I think we could probably not be concerned once we get to bowling and billiards." - Hagerstown

Miniature golf isn't much of a concern, either, I guess.

"If the heating cost of any three-bedroom house is $4,000, a responsible owner should consider doing a major renovation or bulldozing the place to the ground and starting over." - Hagerstown

Lowering the thermostat down a notch or two from the "broil" setting might help a bit, too.

"The old-fashioned country Christmas at Antietam Recreation Center is a must for this holiday season. The activities, the show and the food were all perfect. The children never made a sound. Merry Christmas." - Hagerstown


What exactly did they feed the children? And where can I get some for my noisy dog?

"What are they gonna put in the paper New Year's, Happy New Year?"

No, that would make too much sense. We were thinking more along the lines of "Merry Labor Independence Presidents Columbus Day."

"Talk to your children about sex. Give them the facts first, then your opinion. Encourage them to ask questions and be sure to answer them. You are your kid's biggest influence and role model, so don't depend on another source to educate them. Don't be afraid to have the sex talk. You should be more afraid of what they don't know and what they think they know.

"P.S. Make sure you got the right facts before you pass them down." - Hagerstown

Yes and don't forget the part about how the stork finds children under cabbage leaves and flies them to their new homes./

"I'm a faithful reader of Mail Call. Until The Herald-Mail removes 'gonna' from Mail Call, Hagerstown is never 'gonna' become the sophisticated, upscale city it wants to be. When is The Herald-Mail 'gonna' start editing Mail Call?" - Hagerstown

Some folks believe Hagerstown is already as sophisticated and upscale as it's ever gonna be.

"Mr. Nixon brought them (the troops) home. He was a Republican in 1972."

We're not sure what Nixon was after 1972 ... but he insisted he wasn't a crook.

A "high five" to these callers:

"I want to say thank you to all the police officers, county, state, and local for all the hard work they do, working with the worst of the world for little pay to protect us. I am truly sorry for your fellow brother who lost his life doing his job trying to protect someone from somebody evil. God bless you all and thank you again. Happy holidays." - Williamsport

"When I read Mail Call, I see a lot of negative things said about neighbors, but then I pick up my paper to see where Tony got help. Not only did he get a new wheelchair, but he's going to get help that he didn't expect.

"There's pocketbooks that's been lost; they've been found and given back intact.

"I'm glad to be a part of this community, glad I was born and raised here and I think if you start with yourself and each one of you give a little of yourself to someone else, you're going to find that you're going to feel better about yourself, your community and everything around you.

"Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year's. And remember, God loves you and so do I."

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant at The Herald-Mail.
"Kelly's Cuts - and more" appears every other Thursday.
Frequently-asked questions will now be answered as part of Mail Call by reporters.

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