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The worst Christmas songs

December 11, 2007|By EVA NIESSNER / Pulse Correspondent

During the holiday season, we as radio listeners or shoppers are bombarded with Christmas songs. Some are pretty, like "Carol of the Bells." Some are funny (can you say "The Twelve Pains of Christmas"?).

But then there are those that you hear and wonder, "Why are they playing that? What does that have to do with the Christmas spirit?" I have compiled a few of these.

"Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid. The song acknowledges impoverished people in other countries - but when you stop and think about it, if you were poor, starving and most likely in a non-Christian country, would you know it was Christmas - or really care? And the line "Thank God it's them instead of you" really captures the tone of this song. Sheesh.

"Last Christmas" by George Michael. I'm not going to delve too far into this one lest I spend the rest of the holiday season ranting. This is a sappy love song that has the word Christmas in there occasionally so we are at least spared hearing it year-round. This is not a Christmas song. It is just a cheesy love song. If I wanted drama at this festive time of year, I'd have turned on "One Tree Hill."

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"Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" by The Jackson Five. Anyone else who performs this, you're off the hook. But please, Michael, your voice brings tears to my eyes. And not in a good way. More like the I-can't-stand-your-voice-and-you're-ruining-this-song-for-the-rest-of-us kind.

"Dear Mr. Jesus" by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Domestic abuse is a serious issue, but it is also a problem not exclusive to the Christmas season, so why write a Christmas song about it? And as uncaring as it might sound, would you really rather listen to, say, "The First Noel" or to a simpering kid whom you can't do anything to help.

"The Christmas Shoes" by NewSong. See that "would you rather" question above, then multiply it by about 700.

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