Kelly's Cuts - and more

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call

November 15, 2007|By KELLY MORENO

"And to the person who called in saying the golf course is a good place for a hospital: I think the better place would be the moon."

At least the traffic shouldn't be too heavy on the way to the moon.

"I have a question. If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of?"

I say, I say, boy . . . I don't know, let's ask Foghorn Leghorn, the cartoon rooster.

"What does a man know about a vacuum cleaner that a woman doesn't?"

That's a tough one. We both know how to ignore the vacuum cleaner at my house, I can tell you that much.

"They want to tax cheese puffs, pork rinds, and other snack foods."

Great, there goes my lunch budget.

"I'm calling about the guy who was looking for Clark bars in your paper yesterday."

Maybe more people would subscribe if we wrapped Clark bars inside the paper.


High five to these callers:

"I'm so disgusted with these people talking on their phones while driving. They have caused, or almost caused so many accidents, and they are not even aware of this. Most of these people couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone drive and talk on the phone." - Hagerstown

"Sunday while I was walking to the parking lot of the Valley Mall, I thought someone had dumped all the trash from their car into their parking space and driven off. It bugged me enough to grab a bag from my car and pick it up. When I got there, another woman had a bag and was cleaning it up, too. I don't know who you are or where you're from, ma'am, but if you see this, you've been an inspiration for me. There are still decent people left in this world." - Hedgesville, W.Va.

"I read in Saturday's paper that a developer wants to have a commercial development, pretty much across from Cross Creek, on the Sharpsburg Pike. Just what we need - more traffic and more cars pulling out on the Sharpsburg Pike. What we need on the Sharpsburg Pike are traffic lights; traffic lights at Cross Creek, traffic lights at the Food Lion. Try pulling out of Food Lion, headed towards Hagers-town, at 5 in the afternoon. It's almost impossible. Last thing we need is more development, until we have better roads with traffic lights and left and right turn lanes." - Sharpsburg

"As a volunteer at the humane society, I wanted to thank Boy Scout Troop 66 for the great job that they did on the dogwalking path, as well as putting up a much-needed bridge. It's wonderful to be able to stay out of the mud while giving the dogs some exercise. I know the troop worked very hard to get this project done. A great big thank you from all the dogwalkers at the humane society. Thank you." - Sharpsburg

- Editorial assistant Mia Hoover contributed to this column.

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant at The Herald-Mail. 'Kelly's Cuts - and more' will appear

every other Thursday. Frequently-asked questions will now be answered as part of Mail Call

by reporters.

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