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Dargan opens doors to Jaguars and Bills

October 25, 2007|By BIG SYDNEY

Hey, NFL.

I see Buffalo is looking to play in Canada to get some fans who would be excited about the Bills.

Jacksonville is having trouble getting fans to watch the Jaguars play and buy their T-shirts.

Both are looking to expand their markets. Both want to dupe unsuspecting commoners into thinking their teams are exciting.

I know I've offered this before, but why don't you bring those teams here?

Dargan would be more than excited to host your teams. We have everything you need to get new fans.

We have it all here. We have a TV station that would Fifth Quarter your game. A cable station that would run your game on tape delay from now until the next millennium.

Then you guys would have me as the main guy to pick your games. You would always be a winner if you came here.

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(Buffalo, you could play the Ravens again. You know how that worked out.)

Hey, Jaguars, Dargan already is cheering for you. You should see all of us already walking around town with spots on our shirts.

A lot of us remember growing up singing to the Jacksonville Five songs.

And we all loved that old football announcer who does Gatorade commercials. You know, Keith Jacksonville.

And, hey Buffalo, I, for one, love your wings. I don't even touch the celery.

Dargan thinks your nickels are pretty cool, too.

I'm really into your army, too. I'm all for Buffalo Soldiers. Dargan loves that reggae theme song they use.

You don't really want to play games on foreign soil. Dargan is right here in the good ol' US of A.

Besides, what do Canadians know about NFL football.

You would only confuse them.

Compared to their version of the game, the NFL's field is too small and the end zones are too short.

And, oh yeah, there is one more thing.

You wouldn't find anyone in Dargan cheering for an NFL player who gets anywhere near any rouge.

On with the picks: Last week - 18-5; Overall - 115-36.

HIGH SCHOOLS

Friday

North Hagerstown 37, Brunswick 17

Middletown 27, South Hagerstown 13

Boonsboro 44, Clear Spring 6

Smithsburg 34, Catoctin 18

Liberty 38, Williamsport 20

St. James 26, Hancock 14

CD East 33, Chambersburg 16

Camp Hill 21, Waynesboro 14

Trinity 43, James Buchanan 14

Greencastle 31, Jefferson 21

Martinsburg 41, Musselman 18

Hedgesville 27, Hampshire 12

Allegany 38, Berkeley Springs 27

Saturday

Mercersburg Academy 30, Peddie School 13

COLLEGES

Clemson 26, Maryland 21

West Virginia 31, Rutgers 23

Ohio State 34, Penn State 20

Shepherd 37, West Liberty 17

PROS

Steelers 24, Bengals 10

Patriots 38, Redskins 17

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