Kelly's Cuts and more

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call / You Said It

A wry look at the 'best' of Mail Call / You Said It

July 12, 2007

"They're cutting people off and traveling on the right-hand side of the road."

Driving on the right-hand side of the road? Who ever heard of such a thing in Washington County? I don't believe it.

"I know some of you people are going to think I'm kidding about this, but I'm being completely honest. The birds in Sharpsburg are smarter than your average bird. The reason I'm saying this, my wife put some french fries that we had left over from a restaurant out back, and they were near the birdbath. The birds were picking the french fries up and taking them over and dipping them in the water in the birdbath. How's that for smart? I'll bet you other people don't have birds in your area that smart."

- Sharpsburg

The birds in my neighborhood bring their own ketchup. So there.

"Why don't you do something political or something constructive?"


See, they are two different things.

"I was just calling to compliment whoever does layout for The Herald-Mail. Yesterday afternoon's paper, in the comic section, I see the 'Closer to Home' comic strip, with the gentleman being held by the bear and his wife hollering 'Eric, look for his pressure point.'

Then you turn the page, and here's the article about the 26-year-old woman from Frederick who was attacked by a bear in Romania. Somebody's really doing good with the design and layout in the paper."

- Greencastle, Pa.

Thank you. On some days the job is almost too much to bear.

"I would like to change the subject to something more amazing than the usual. Every day, cows spend six hours gathering food to fill their stomachs. A cow gulps down 100 pounds of grass, hay and grain, and drinks about 40 gallons of water daily. They produce 65 pounds of patties and about 30 pounds of urine every day. Is this amazing or what?"

- Washington County

Are those patties cow pies or hamburgers?

A high-five to these callers:

"To the smoker who called in and was nasty to the non-smoker at the hospital entrance: You're probably one of those who also think you have the right to pull up to a stop light, open your door, and dump the ashtray full of cigarette butts on the ground. You know that's littering, too. All you people who smoke and have that attitude are just giving the decent and courteous smokers a bad name. And yes, I am a smoker. So straighten up, or you deserve to lose your smoking privileges - yes, privilege, not right."

- Clear Spring

"To the person worried about the phone books on their doorstep: Instead of just throwing them away, recycle them and save a tree, so it can produce oxygen so that we can breathe better."

- Hagerstown

"I agree with the gentleman or lady who called in about the stem cell research. I say go for it. Help mankind if you can. As far as everyone pulling these quotes out of the Bible, everybody's interpretation of the Bible differs. The Bible is there - this is just my opinion, of course - as a guide, to give us guidance. The Bible is a guidance for mankind. Let's help people while we are here on this earth. We are not here long enough. Let us enjoy it."

- Hagerstown


"I'd like to know if anyone knows what else is going down from Wal-Mart. I know there's a Best Buy and a Starbucks coming, but does anyone know what else is going there? If so, please put it in the paper."

- Hagerstown

I called Washington Real Estate Investment Trust, the leasing contact for the Centre at Hagerstown, at 301-255-0846, and was told that the Centre is at 100 percent occupancy; there are no vacant retail spaces. Any new construction is being handled by a different developer and the representative did not know the name. An extensive Internet search did not reveal any additional information about new construction on Garland Groh Boulevard.

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant at The Herald-Mail. 'Kelly's Cuts - and more' will appear every other Thursday. She will answer some frequently-asked questions, but it won't be possible to answer every one.

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