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I hate back stabbers

May 29, 2007|by BRIANNA GREEN

Back-stabbing. What comes to your mind when you hear that? For me, it's stabbing someone in the back, literally. But I know that people mean being lied to or being betrayed.

Everyone does it. I do it all the time, but it still makes me mad when people do it to me.

What people don't understand is that talking about someone behind their back can actually be a good thing. I know that sounds weird, but it can help you realize whom you can trust and whom your real friends are. And if you're in trouble, it could help save you.

It's a good thing to tell your friends about people who are up to no good. It's a good thing to warn a friend who is clueless about someone who's a user. And it's a good thing to tell someone when you think people are planning on hurting themselves or others.

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I don't consider that back-stabbing, because you're trying to help, not hurt.

But if you lie about someone or betray someone, it could get around. People might stop trusting you with even the littlest secrets. No one wants to be friends with an untrustworthy person.

If you know someone is going to tell you a secret and you think you won't be able to keep it to yourself, just stop them from saying anything at all.

If you tell one of your friend's secrets and it gets out to everyone, it's understandable for someone to get mad about it. Sometimes really mad. Sometimes, victims of back-stabbing want revenge and they settle things with violence.

Violence is never the answer. Instead of trying to get revenge, let it go. Be cool. The back-stabber wants to make you angry. If you act like you don't care, the back-stabber has no power over you. And maybe they will think twice before doing it again.

If you think about it, back-stabbing has gone on for what seems like forever - people stab each other in the back in Roman myths, in Bible stories, in spy movies, in romance novels, and much more. Back-stabbing could go on forever. It is something that people can't stop. Back-stabbing is bad, but (Brianna's confession time) it's fun.

But talking about people behind their back is like having unprotected sex. It has consequences. Sometimes very bad ones.

I think the only way to stop back-stabbing is to see that the long-term consequences - losing friends, getting a bad reputation, etc. - aren't worth the short-term fun.

So if you're not saving a life or warning someone, keep their secrets kept.

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