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Kelly's cuts

Classic quotes from Mail Call/You Said It

Classic quotes from Mail Call/You Said It

February 09, 2007

Editor's note: The following items were compiled from calls received for the "Mail Call/You Said It" columns.

"You can't let old dogs lie."

Of course not. I say make them get up and romp like puppies - and learn some new tricks while they're at it.

"I'm calling about the Cold Weather Shelter. I was under the impression that it was going to be open yearlong, but I hear it's going to close in the spring."

That's when they run out of cold, isn't it?

"Please explain to me why illegal aliens are not illegal. The problem should be send them home. I don't see where the problem is."

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Did Gracie Allen call Mail Call from beyond?

"Something should be taken care of here. If that was someone else, I'm sure they would be taken care of, so this should be taken care of."

Gracie, you know I love you, but please stop calling Mail Call.

"It looks like my country - the USA -is slowly - maybe fastly - being given away - more fast than slow."

And it's being given away to all those people who don't have a great command of the English language.

"If it's too much work, get out of the kitchen".

Gladly! I can't stand the heat in there anyway.

"If you have good friends, then open doors will come to you."

If open doors come to me, my good friends have given me too much good wine.

"People have ridden bicycles and other appliances."

Yes, I saw a man on a 6-slice toaster oven just this morning. And no, I didn't have any wine with breakfast.

"Evolution, which is a atheist religion . . ."

It's about worshipping apes, isn't it?

"Don't stop there to get gas - just sideswipe it and go someplace else."

I know we're all upset about the high price of gasoline, but there's no point in being destructive.

". . . very much unsafe - much unsafer than it was before."

That sounds pretty not safe.

"The right thing is still to do what's right."

I think you're right.

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant for The Herald-Mail

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