Kelly's Cuts

Classic quotes from Mail Call/You Said It

February 01, 2007

Editor's note: The following items were compiled from calls received for the "Mail Call/You Said It" columns.

"I'm not a big fan of murder ..."

Whew, that's a relief. Fans of murder are almost as bad as Ravens fans.

"Back in the cave dweller days, a man could drag his woman by the hair around town."

What town was that? Bedrock?

"If you were in a coma, you'd know it."

How???

"Is there a partition we can sign to protest this?"

No, but you are welcome to come by my desk and sign the petition that separates me from my co-worker.

"You must be a real piece of cake."

Yes, I used to be a "real piece of work," but I like cake better than work, so I changed.

"Do what you do, not as I say."

That must be what today's parents are telling their unruly children.

"These people are underknowledged, and their ignorance only makes them look more ignorant."

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black . . .

"Be careful when you're under the wheel."

Well, I'm careful behind the wheel, but if I'm under the wheel, I guess it means I shouldn't have had that last Margarita.

"People who claim to have died from secondhand smoke . . ."

If ghosts are talking to you, you might want to put down whatever it is you're smoking.

"It was just the apple in the gleam in someone's eye."

I didn't know gleams had apples.

"I am in good health for the health that I'm in."

Glad to hear it, Yogi Berra.

And finally, here are a few quotes from recent graduates of the Redundancy School for Redundancy:

"Little Chihuahua."

"Dead carcasses."

Kelly Moreno is an editorial assistant for The Herald-Mail

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