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Syd's mementos to go to highest bidders

October 26, 2006|by BIG SYDNEY

When you have been doing this as long as I have, it gets difficult.

There are just so many awards and trinkets you pick up over the years for being the best football prognosticator known to man. Every banquet, endorsement meeting, festival and fat burger store opening I attend, I get a gift of thanks.

So, now my penthouse residence in my secluded bunker compound in Dargan is just overrun with all of this memorabilia. Everywhere I turn, I trip over something.

I didn't know what to do. At first, I thought about having a yard sale ... which would be fitting for a guy in my business. But I realized I couldn't put all this stuff in a 36-inch space, so that ended that idea.

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Then I read on Darg.net - better known as Jack's Web because it's the site where you get just the facts, ma'am, but it only works on Friday - that Dick Clark was going to have an auction to sell a lot of things that he collected over the years while promoting rock music (including Barry Manilow) and American Bandstand.

I said, "Hey. Why not? The stuff I got here has to be wanted by someone."

I was looking for ideas for the sale. I went to hire someone to organize this event and make all the calls, so I went to Dargan's new business, which is a combination coffin shop, public restroom, travel agency and auctioneer. It is a bold venture called Going Once, Going Twice, Going Three Times, and Sold.

I think I got everything set. The proprietor, Pat Petual, motioned me over but I couldn't understand a thing because he was talking so fast. "Gimme a date, a date, a date, for this event, event, event and it'll be SOLD!" he said in less that what it takes for hang time on a pooch punt.

I booked the local auction location at the local party center and horse feed establishment - Hall and Oats - and got to work in planning what I was going to sell.

Getting the items together to sell was as tough as that 50-cent steak sandwich I had for lunch. I found out that I was attached to most of these things.

I have this collection of hubcaps I stole in a community effort to quiet down North Hagerstown's self-proclaimed mascot. My supply grows as his never ends. Obviously there are more 1960 Dodges in the area than I realized.

I have a bunch of my favorite old picks - axe, hair, tooth, pockets - to put on the table.

I have a John Deere tractor which was only driven once, to shovel snow in New England on a Sunday before a field goal against Miami.

There were also copies of the Gipper's Knute Rockne speech, films of when Notre Dame's Irish actually had some Fighting in them, and Terrell Owens' daily pill divider.

I brought back memories with some little-known books like: "Foliage Again: The Ryan Leaf Story," "Lil' Monkey Business" by Howard Cosell and "The Anatomy of Minority Athletes" by Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder.

I even had some of my secrets ... my first Ouija board, different coin-flipping techniques and blindfolds I use when I throw darts to pick my games.

I found quirky autographed photos, like me with Hank Williams Jr. getting ready for some football, with Kate Smith practicing to sing "God Bless America" and next to the hospital bed with that idiot who jumped out of the stands in Chicago to catch a field goal before landing 10 feet below in the runway to the players' locker rooms.

Then I found one thing that I put away because I knew it wouldn't sell.

In fact, I don't think I would get 2 cents for this item if it was at the auction. Go to any football game in Washington County and you see one like it all over the field. There is so much of a supply, there is no demand for this item.

It's my lucky penalty flag.

On with the predictions. Last week: 16-5 (.762); Season: 122-39 (.758).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Friday

North Hagerstown 48, Clear Spring 13: The Blazers can't ignite their offense, but the Hubs can.

Smithsburg 33, Williamsport 14: This is Custer's last (home) stand of the season.

Catoctin 23, South Hagerstown 19: The Rebels will go up a mountain but come down in second place.

Boonsboro 31, Brunswick 15: I dig that DeBarge guy. I'm glad to see his career is on the upswing after "Who's Johnny?"

Hampshire 30, Hedgesville 20: I never pick a team that starts with 'H' unless I have to.

Greencastle 14, Jefferson 7: The Cougars' playoff hopes wash away like sand castles.

Martinsburg 37, Musselman 16: Martinsburg proves it's not a dog and pony show.

Trinity 39, James Buchanan 12: The Shamrocks just have too much luck on their side.

Allegany 35, Berkeley Springs 31: The Campers are as good as their strongest Link.

Camp Hill 24, Waynesboro 14: I won't be camping on any hill in this kind of weather.

Saturday

Peddie School 41, Mercersburg Academy 13: When the Falcons intercept a pass, it's called Peddie thievery.

St. James 34, Hancock 13: Have you seen that Chick who coaches St. James?

Central Dauphin East 37, Chambersburg 21: The Trojans have a hard time trying to pick up on the Panthers' signs. They don't speak Dauphin's language.

COLLEGES

Maryland 26, Florida State 22: After digging themselves a semi-hole, the Terrapins will beat the Seminoles.

Penn State 21, Purdue 13: And afterwards they go out for - what else? - Boilermakers.

Shepherd 34, W.Va. Wesleyan 6: Isn't Wesleyan on the lam for tax fraud?

PROS

Saints 20, Ravens 12: Saints have been super in their dome so far.

Steelers 31, Raiders 17: Raiders' new slogan is "Commitment to get the No. 1 draft pick."

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