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Syd doesn't have to be Sly to pick 'em

September 14, 2006|by BIG SYDNEY

It was the proudest day of my life.

The guys who manage the staircase out front of Dargan's library - yes, the founding stepfathers - decided to bring the bronze bust of me out of its majestic storage space at the local storage bin and dermatologist, the old Stash and Rash.

They got the idea when that "Yo, Adrian" fake brought his relic out of mothballs earlier this week. Heck, he had to make another move to get Philadelphia to bring that junk back from being a napkin holder at some cheesesteak shoppe.

I have remained active for all these years. I'm still picking football games and making predictions for all these years while he's been filling his time with such cinematic greats as "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot."

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Believe me, I don't have to be Sly. I'm Syd.

It was heartwarming to see the Darganites come out in force to see the rededication of this classic. The statue has me at my good side - lying flat on my back in my Barkolounger, with my hand down the front of my coach's shorts while staring at the TV.

Next to me is my trusty companion, the Magic 8 Ball I won for being the football prognosticator of the year. Laugh if you want, but it's right 75 percent of the time. That's double the wins over that Kauffman guy in The Herald-Mail's pathetic Fearless Forecasters.

As you can see, I have been honored for my humility.

Well, anyhow, Dargan decided to really make this a nice event for me.

They went out to the local park seating and shrubbery place - Benches and Hedges - to spruce up the old statue. It is to give people a place to sit back and enjoy the Batman comics they check out of the library. The full color ones are hard to come by for the avid readers in this town.

The speeches at the event were touching. They said, "To a man who treats his nose and football games all the same. He picks them both."

It brought a tear to my girlfriend LuSydna's eye. She went out special and got a helmet hairdo for the event.

My prognosticating compound was added to the Dargan Tourism Department's list of must-see houses in the area. It now ranks up there with the home of Billy the Goatboy and Tripod, the three-legged man, as main attractions.

I'm kind of glad to do it for the old town. Dargan has been good to me.

Besides, I was the best choice to pose for the statue.

Can you imagine what the bust would have looked like if they had chosen the town's other favorite son, Dr. Ben Dover, the local proctologist?

On with the predictions. Last week: 14-8 (.636); Season: 23-11 (.676).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Friday

Middletown 20, Boonsboro 17: Notice how there are never any seats at the 50 at Knights' stadium.

Westmar 33, Clear Spring 30: The end doesn't suit the Blazers.

North Hagerstown 24, Frederick 16: In order to have a full offensive line, the Cadets had to get a recruitment center.

Poolesville 19, Smithsburg 12: Leopards go off the deep end against Poolesville.

Tuscarora 28, South Hagerstown 18: No matter how loose the Rebels are, in tough situations, it will be Titans up.

Bohemia Manor 16, Williamsport 14: Wildcats have trouble with all the Manor-isms.

MSD 36, St. James 25: Saints get out of touch with Sutch.

Northern Garrett 26, Berkeley Springs 21: Indians have been more givers than takers lately.

Sherando 31, Hedgesville 20: Eagles get a Sherando-m sampling of offense.

Urbana 27, Martinsburg 22: This one will add to another Urbana legend.

James Wood 16, Musselman 9: Applemen, watch out for Wood's tricky 2x4 alignment and running plays going against the grain.

Chambersburg 19, Cedar Cliff 15: No, the place where the Colts store their uniforms is not known as The Cedar Closet.

James Buchanan 29, York Tech 18: The Rockets are only allowed to chew Orbitz.

Jefferson 21, Broad Run 13: Cougars go on the straight and narrow against Broad Run.

Greencastle 34, Waynesboro 20: Greencastle seems like its on re-moat control.

Saturday

Hancock 32, Bishop Walsh 12: Panthers use Bishop as a pawn.

St. Albans 18, Mercersburg Academy 15: Blue Storm can't find a silver lining.

COLLEGES

West Virginia 38, Maryland 17: Today's menu in Morgantown: Turtle soup and charbroiled couch potatoes.

Penn State 41, Youngstown State 14: After last week, this is like playing Neutered Dame for the Nittany Lions.

Shepherd 23, C.W. Post 14: Rams stamp their position in the Division II poll with a Post mark.

PROS

Ravens 27, Raiders 10: Baltimore proves Oakland is just a Shell of its former self.

Cowboys 24, Redskins 13: Washington fans don't get big or rich by getting hoarse, riding a Cowboy.

Steelers 20, Jaguars 17: Every single story about Pittsburgh's backup quarterback is Batch lore.

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