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Syd finds a new home at Dargnet.com

September 07, 2006|by BIG SYDNEY

I got out of the football prognostication compound the other day and just realized how much the home base of Dargan has progressed.

I felt like an ostrich with my head in the sandwich I mean, sand. I don't remember this place being so modern.

I mean, I just noticed in the paper that Philadelphia is putting up that Rocky statue again after all these years.

They've got nothing over Dargan. It erected a monument in my honor in front of the library. Check it out sometime. It's a bronze bust of me, reclined in my dual-re-enforced Barkolounger, with my hand placed strategically in the front waistband of my coaching shorts.

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It brings a tear to my eye every time I see it.

A little known fact is that Dargan's library is unique and quite a tourist attraction. It is the only library in the world where patrons don't need a library card to withdraw books.

All they need is a crayon.

So, on my journey, I passed one of the new businesses in town. It is a combination of a cyber address store, local baseball souvenir shop and pizza parlor.

It's known as Domain-Os. The store puts Dargan on the cutting edge of technology. It was voted the most advanced small town in Maryland located along the Potomac River.

I got curious to see how many of our local football coaches have gone high-tech with the new-fangled, vanity e-mail addresses.

It was interesting.

Williamsport coach Adrian Custer goes by laststand@dargnet.com.

Over at St. James, the football coach has his address to tell everyone where his office is located. You can write to him at MeehanStudioDownByTheSchoolYard@dargnet.com

The University of Maryland coach has a site in the area to draw fans. It seems a little intimidating, though. It's FriedgenDares@dargnet.com. It stuck me as a little cold, but it made me want to go to the ice box for a snack.

Then there was a water theme going with the two city schools. On the south side of town, it's HeyKellickinMan@dargnet.com and Cunninghamfallsbutcangetbackup@dargnet.com

That coach as Smithsburg is a crazy guy. His was NuttyBuddy@dargnet.com. Every e-mail gets a free chocolate ice cream cone.

Over in Waynesboro, it's DeepSeiler@dargnet.com. It's hard to tell if that is a release of frustration or a description of the Indians offense.

So, in all this I decided to join the big time and get my own Internet domain. I plunked down the cash and got myself three.

You can reach me at picksfromthesticks@dargnet.com or Darganslayer@dargnet.com or SydneysSlicker@dargnet.com.

On with the predictions. Last week 9-3 (.750), season 9-3 (.750).

HIGH SCHOOLS



Boonsboro 37, Moorefield 14: The Warriors' stats will be inflated because they can cover more field than anyone else.

Northern Garrett 44, Clear Spring 22: Buck up, Blazers. With this score, it means you are halfway there.

North Hagerstown 27, Liberty 23: That's life, but Liberty falls before it can start any pursuit of happiness.

Smithsburg 28, Westmar 12: Westmar can't find any spot remover to stop the Leopards' offense.

Walkersville 30, South Hagerstown 17: Buck up, Rebelsl. Think what the score might be if you were playing Runnersville or Sprintersville.

Williamsport 35, Hancock 13: The Wildcats are efficient and in the pink against the Panthers.

Berkeley Springs 31, Grafton 23: It's weird; I hear Grafton uses pie charts on their scoreboard.

Sherando 27, Musselman 16: In the end the Applemen say, "Sherando sure ran though."

State College 43, Chambersburg 14: Trojans won't earn many scholarships to State College.

Shenandoah Valley 41, James Buchanan 13: Against this Valley, the Rockets fail to be green giants.

Jefferson 13, Park View 7: Even Seinfeld fans know that when the Cougars yell "Newman," it's a good thing.

Palmyra 20, Greencastle 13: Palmyra is not only a good football team, but it cuts grease and makes your dishes shine.

West Perry 36, Waynesboro 14: It's against the law to call bricklayers near Harrisburg "Perry Masons."

Saturday

Mercersburg Academy 28, Wyoming Seminary 26: I hear the Blue Storm's opponents have uniforms with little white tabs on the front collar and a raccoon tail hanging from the back of the helmet.

St. James 33, St. John's Catholic Prep 23: Sutch is the case for the Saints.

Hedgesville 19, Potomac Falls 14: The assistant coaches who make Hedgesville's game plan are known as Eagle scouts.

COLLEGES



Maryland 44, Middle Tennessee 16: For this one, the Terps won't have to go to Hollenbach.

Notre Dame 23, Penn State 20: Luck of the Irish leaves Paterno stewing.

West Virginia 49, Eastern Washington 10: No, Eastern Washington is actually a college team, not a pickup team from a street in Morgantown.

PROS



Dolphins 16, Steelers 13: Miami plays with more porpoise than the Steelers.

Buccaneers 21, Ravens 10: Baltimore also finds that is the price of corn in Tampa Bay.

Redskins 20, Vikings 14: Place your Betts on this one.

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