Advertisement

Women and spending

Experts say some behavior threatens security

Experts say some behavior threatens security

March 19, 2006|By KRISTEN GERENCHER - Market
(Page 2 of 2)

Once that's done, they can move from being responsible people to responsible partners and providers, he said.

"In our culture, we have taught both men and women to view money as a right rather than a responsibility," said Bickel, who's also a Reformed Baptist minister. "When people start talking about rights as opposed to responsibilities, they run into problems."

"What kills a relationship is ownership, meaning 'I have a right to it,' as opposed to stewardship - 'How do we manage this?"'

Whether couples choose to have joint accounts or go the 'mine, yours and ours' route, the important thing is they agree and understand each other's position, Bickel said.

Advertisement

That also applies to tensions that arise when one person is used to being in charge and has trouble sharing power in the relationship, which was the case for a remarried woman Bickel recently counseled.

"The breakthrough was when she said 'I need your help. I can't do this. It's foreign to me,"' he said. "When she said this, we made wonderful strides."

As more women graduate from college than men, the prospect of having more women with higher earnings requires both sexes to brush up on their communication and conflict-resolution skills, Perle said.

"Right now we're caught in this wacky gap for women where we're working in our fathers' worlds and still holding ourselves up to the mythic '50s-mother standard," she said. "Women have to realize all these forces are at play with their pocketbooks."

The Herald-Mail Articles
|
|
|