The Kauffman reverse jinx is alive and well

November 10, 2005|by DAN KAUFFMAN

I'm starting a new business: QRS, Inc.

That stands for Quarterback Rejuvenation Services.

Seems whenever I write things like, "Mark Brunell does not have what it takes, physically, to get the job done," and, "This much we know: Going with Brunell will not work," then back it up with apparently meaningless stats like, "Brunell completed less than 50 percent of his passes (in 2004)," six weeks later I'm trying to find a way out of looking like a fool.

What? It's six weeks later? Oh, joy!

If you had told me on Sept. 15 - when I wrote those comments contained in the second paragraph - that the Redskins would be 5-3 at this point, I quite literally would have laughed at you. Little did I realize Brunell was going to find the Fountain of Youth.

Brunell's 2004 numbers: 118-for-237, 1,194 yards, seven touchdowns, six interceptions.

His 2005 numbers (so far): 148-for-255, 1,781 yards, 12 TDs, three INTs.


If the season ended today, Brunell's 90.3 passer rating would be the second-highest of his career.

All of which is basically my way of saying, um, you know, I'm an idiot.

On the bright side, my new business is getting a lot of business: Vinny Testaverde, Kurt Warner, Gus Frerotte and Trent Dilfer are on the phone as I type this.

But wait! There's more!

Not only can I revive individual careers with a few less-than-flatering remarks, I can also doom entire teams with predictions of glory.

Fort Hill's volleyball team never had a chance Wednesday.

First, I told my boss that if Williamsport wasn't careful, the top-seeded Sentinels could surprise the Wildcats and end their three-year Class 1A reign. Then upon arriving at Boonsboro, I told official Susan Davis, the former coach at Hedgesville, the same thing.

So you can imagine my look when someone came up to me after Boonsboro's victory over Southern Garrett and told me that not only had Williamsport won, but that the Wildcats swept Fort Hill out of its own gym.

Before anyone asks: I have no official prediction on the Williamsport-Boonsboro regional final.

Well, that's not quite true. I have one: I predict it will live up to last year's thriller.

What do you know? I finally found a prediction I may actually get right.

Dan Kauffman is a staff writer for The Morning Herald. His column appears every other Thursday. He can be reached at 301-733-5131, ext. 7520, or by e-mail at

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