Dargan knows how to party

October 06, 2005|by BIG SYDNEY

It was a weekend I won't soon forget.

There are a lot of thrills and excitement surrounding the annual Dargan Days celebration, but it is kind of rough for me.

It is the one time a year that SydneyWorld, the amusement park-prognostication palace and scrapple factory, gets overrun by adoring fans and Darganites.

First off, that all gives me chills because I start flashing back to when the NFL got my team to play a game at Alcatraz. All the people standing around my bunker compound make me feel like the guards that were hanging around the Big House.


That was a tough game, by the way. We beat Alcatraz in the end and the inmates flipped us the Birdman.

But I'm trapped in town for Dargan Days. As this town's most recognizable Sydizen, next to the two-headed goat boy, I have a responsibility to my little town.

There are tours given around my humble abode, all 100,000 square feet of it. Tops on the list is the room of recliners - a far superior collection if you put it up against the China Room at the White House - and my massive jerky curing room.

The highlight is the sampling after the tour. I make one kind that is so good it makes you shake all over. It's called Herky Jerky.

I have another one that makes you feel giddy called Perky Jerky, and another that is processed in the Antietam Creek known as Merky Jerky.

And one that has a whole bunch of special ingredients that we don't want to go into here. The Bush's baked beans dog may be reading this while he's doing his business and let the recipe out.

I call it my Quirky Jerky.

Then there is my autograph session where I try to be creative with all the fans. I sign my picture - taken with a wide-angle lens - with different greetings, all pertaining to my football-pick enterprise.

"Hope you are never at odds. Yours, Big Syd."

"For the Birds? Take the Ravens and seven. Yours, Big Syd."

"Right 70 percent of the time. That's better odds than you get with Lou Scally and the weather. Yours, Big Syd."

A little flair for the eBay sales.

But there are other things that actually draw at Dargan Days.

We had a benefit raffle for the new football complex we want to build here. Our goal is to be able to play in 2007 against Bowie and they'll call us the Dargan Dogs.

You could bob for Spam at one booth and you could win dolls by trying to shoot replicas of a woman singing with squirt guns filled with vegetable oil. It is the Kate Smith and Wesson shootout.

One of the highlights is our Drone in Dargan and Sing along with Syd concert featuring Fat Boy Slim, Meatloaf, The Meat Puppets and Black Eyed Peas. The encore is all the bands singing "American Pie."

My favorite part of Dargan Days is the parade with all the football-related floats.

The entry from North Hagerstown featured a replica of its unofficial mascot, Hubcap, holding his breath to change colors from red to blue with Aretha Franklin singing "Respect" in the background. The theme was, "You picked against us last week, Syd."

We got a float from New England that had Bill Belechick standing in a window reciting Shakespeare. It was called, "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou?"

But the Best in Show, that was something to be seen.

It was amazing. It was a Halloween setting, with bats and spiders and great likenesses of Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Catrell dressed like witches while standing and chanting around a likeness of me in a caldron.

It was called Hexin' the Sydney.

On with the predictions. Last week 19-9 (.679), season 78-38 (.672).


Hancock 21, Model School 13: Panthers find out that Model is a bunch of im-pose-ters


North Hagerstown 24, Brunswick 20: A pick for the Hubs means T-shirt sales are down in the North end.

South Hagerstown 38, Clear Spring 28: Rebels find a cause against the Blazers.

Catoctin 31, Smithsburg 20: Cougars go on spot duty to down Leopards.

Boonsboro 34, Williamsport 21: When Shoemaker runs the ball, is he a quarterback sneaker?

Thomas Johnson 44, North Carroll 8: Pats are up-to-the-minute men.

Urbana 23, Tuscarora 17: It's natural for Urbana boys to react to a one-hut count.

South Carroll 33, Frederick 20: If Frederick was in NASA, would they be the Space Cadets.

Liberty 21, Walkersville 14: Liberty takes crack at ringing the bell against the Lions.

Middletown 17, Winters Mill 13: Mid-Knights cowboy up to lasso a victory.

Martinsburg 38, Park View 35: Bulldogs barely get it out of Park.

Musselman 28, Keyser 16: Applemen explode like Ol' Faithful against Keyser.

John Marshall 41, Hedgesville 24: The easy-going guy hiking the ball is not a Marshall mellow center.

Berkeley Springs 24, Sidwell Friends 21: Indians chant, "Why can't we beat Friends? Why can't we beat Friends?"

Trinity 47, James Buchanan 23: Trinity leaves Rockets at the crossroads.

Steel-High 44, Waynesboro 20: Did you notice how stainless Steel-High's uniforms are?

Greencastle 37, Susquenita 13: If the Blue Devils waste away in Susquenita-ville, it will be their own darn fault.

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