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Football players can't match Syd's toughness

September 29, 2005|by BIG SYDNEY

I'm getting an early start for this weekend's NFL action.

I've been sitting here, trying to get a gauge on my picks, and I needed some inspiration.

So many injuries. So few players.

I went to my favorite hangout, the Dargan Deli and Taxidermy - where roadkill has a dual purpose - to get a sandwich and a squirrel mounted.

Then I stopped at my little town's best shopping area - the Dargan Five and Fifth, the famous dime/liquor store combination - to pick up a pack of AA batteries.

I was ready to do it. To understand what injuries are doing to this game, I could think of nothing better.

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I went into my attic and broke out my old Operation! game.

So here we go.

Chad Pennington ... bum shoulder

Buzzzz.

Champ Bailey ... pulled hamstring

Buzzzz.

Rod Smith ... bad headache

Buzzzz.

Junior Seau ... uncooperative calf

Zaaaaap.

Man, the batteries went dead already.

These guys sure get hurt easily.

I remember when I was playing, in the old days when your helmet folded up and doubled as your wallet in your back pocket, we played hurt.

You can only imagine the injuries a football prognosticator battles through and still performs.

I had a hamstring injury once. I threw out my shoulder while trying to pull a semi-boneless shank with some fishing line.

I battled through a back strain once. It happened when my remote control went on the fritz and I had to reach out and change channels manually.

There was that battle with cramps that came from eating those Spam-stuffed mushrooms that had been sitting out for 10 hours at my tailgate party.

And let's not forget the time I suffered dizziness after breaking an eardrum because I had the volume up too high while listening to my Kate Smith Sound Machine Greatest Hits album. ("One-Two-Three. Come on baby, punt for me, four-five-six times.")

But you really know you're something when they name an operation for you. Ask Tommy John.

So, I had the first Big Sidney procedure.

Doctors performed the delicate operation. I got so excited when the Redskins came back to beat Dallas, I sat on my the pointed end of the globe of the world in my study.

That's right, I was treated for Hemisphere-roids.

On with the predictions. Last week 15-12 (.556), season 59-29 (.663)

HIGH SCHOOLS



Friday

Smithsburg 23, North Hagerstown 20: When the Leopards have a spotty performance, that's a good thing.

Brunswick 31, South Hagerstown 18:/B> It's easy to train a Railroader not to be stationary.

Catoctin 42, Williamsport 24:/B> The Wildcats' offense goes so cold, it has to wear Thurmont underwear.

Boonsboro 34, Clear Spring 13: /B>Shoemaker is no loafer for the Warriors.

Thomas Johnson 38, Century 14:/B> Is the Knights' last cheerleader known as the 20th Century fox?

Tuscarora 40, North Carroll 13:/B> Tuscarora puts North Carroll in Titan places.

Francis Scott Key 27, Frederick 19:/B> Key turns beating the Cadets into its national anthem.

Linganore 37, Walkersville 15:/B> This will be joust for fun for that Lancers lot.

Middletown 30, Liberty 17:/B> When the clock strikes 0:00, it will be Mid-Knights.

Martinsburg 44, Potomac Falls 14:/B> You know, the Bulldogs' opponent's name is both a noun and a verb.

Jefferson 31, Musselman 21:/B> Cougars' hustle and bustle rustles Musselman.

Fort Hill 42, Hedgesville 23:/B> When Cumberland wants news, it checks the Sentinels.

Berkeley Springs 33, Petersburg 16:/B>This one will be a Tribe-ute to the Indians' offense.

Chambersburg 26, Altoona 22:/B> Trojans' deep game makes Altoona fish for answers.

St. John's at Prospect Hall 32, Archbishop Spalding 27:/B> The Vikings' tricky offense is written in Norse code.

Steel-High 37, James Buchanan 17:/B> Steel-High calls on all its alloys to beat the Rockets.

Boiling Springs 28, Waynesboro 23:/B> Indians try hard but can't burst Boiling Springs' Bubblers.

East Pennsboro 31, Greencastle 20:/B> The ball points to Pennsboro.

Saturday

Hancock 39, Rockwood 15: It's a little known fact that the Flintstones were filmed in Rockwood.

Potomac School 27, St. James 18: /B>Do they teach the Riverdance at Potomac School?

Mercersburg Academy 20, Lawrenceville 9:/B> Lawrenceville is known as Larrytown to its close friends.

COLLEGES



Virginia 31, Maryland 17:/B> Unfortunately for the Terps, the Cavs' offense has a tendency of Groh-ing on you.

Virginia Tech 38, West Virginia 20:/B> Hokies make Mountaineers pokey by putting the left end in and turning him all about.

Minnesota 24, Penn State 20:/B> JoePa finds himself in a Gopher hole.

Shepherd 42, WVU-Tech 13:/B> Rams win this one in a Tech knockout.

PROS



Redskins 27, Seahawks 13: /B>If Gibbs will stay with the girls that took him to the dance against Dallas, he prefers a Brunell.

Ravens 13, Jets 10:/B> Lewis runs over a big, old Jet linebacker.

Eagles 28, Chiefs 17: /B>McNabb's tummy allows him to forget the backside pain provided by T.O.

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