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Don't touch that dial - It's SydTV

September 22, 2005|by BIG SYDNEY

It's that time of year again.

You know what I mean.

No, not the annual coronation of the Baltimore Orioles to their fourth-place throne.

That's so predictable.

It's time for the new television schedule. All the new shows and premieres of old shows kick back in. But ABC, NBC, FOX and CBS is getting so boring. Everyone of them have the court drama based on fantastic forensic discovery brought about by someone who can see into the future and finds an alien invasion that has a group of people stranded somewhere.

Television is getting like the NFL. When a style of play wins the Super Bowl, everyone tries to copy it.

There is something different out there now. Get ready and assume the position ... reclined in the prone position with a healthy portion of Spam-Ka-Bobs to munch on.

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It's SYD TV.

We are television with an appetite and we aren't too tough to swallow.

Based with our towers in glitzy Dargonwood, the only tummy tucks you will see here is me trying to shove my ample size 56 waist into my size 32 Speedo for the sychronized swimming portion of our programing, as show called Sock Hop Belly Flop at I Hop.

But here are a few other shows to consider on SYD TV, the network where head cheese is both a company president and lunch at the same time.

Mondays at 8 p.m. - A show where an eccentric physician does incredible work while wearing tight athletic wear that is paid for by a patient's HMO. The twist is that the money was stolen from under an Armor car. It is the We Must Protect This episode on House.

Wednesday at 8:30 - Catch the humorous tales of third-string player and taxi squad members who make cutting remarks and practical jokes on the sidelines while the other players are playing the game.

Catch the laughs on Scrubs.

Saturdays at 9 p.m. - Catch Emeril as he whips up great tailgate recipes while standing in the Kansas City end zone. We don't have the name of the show down yet. That's The (Grid)Iron Chef (Great Googly-moogly).

Fridays at 10 p.m. - Here's our drama about the University of Maryland football team as the offense looks to run the ball and the linebackers look to make clean tackles through some porous blocking up front. That's what you will see on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Sunday at 1 p.m. - It's a Groundhog Day story about the San Francisco 49ers defense on how it always seems to give up three touchdowns and a field goal every week. It's our version of 24.

Tuesday at 9 p.m. - The madcap antics of the Philadelphia Eagles and Minnesota Vikings when they play in the Super Bowl.

Get ready for Lost.

And finally our Sunday showcase show to rival Desperate Housewives ... We are calling it our So Raven package.

Sunday at 10 p.m. - It's a cop show that revolves around the Baltimore football franchise and the difficulties is seems to have both on and now off the field.

It's Arrested Development, of course. This week's special guest star, Washington Redskins defensive back Sean Taylor.

On with the predictions. Last week 19-10 (.655), season 42-17 (.712).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Urbana 38, Frederick 21: The Cadets fail to copa with Urbana, even on this side of Havana.

Friday

Thomas Johnson 20, North Hagerstown 10: The Hubs have a front row seat for the Patriots' center and the show isn't all that pretty.

South Hagerstown 25, South Carroll 13: South Carroll can't afford to be Cavalier about facing the Rebels.

Tuscarora 34, Smithsburg 21: Titans play connect the spots to beat the Leopards.

Williamsport 41, Bishop Walsh 13: A win here would be Custer made for the Wildcats.

Clear Spring 33, Hancock 22: After last week's first-ever victory, the Blazers don't know what they are feeling, but they sure do like it.

Walkersville 27, Catoctin 14: It's easy for Walkersville to win when they get the Lions' share of points.

Middletown 30, Brunswick 16: Mid-Knights are at the oasis and they put the Railroaders to bed.

Martinsburg 39, Broad Run 14: 'Dogs extend their ground game to get around Broad Run.

Fort Hill 35, Musselman 21: No, the Sentinels don't wear English Bobby pins.

Jefferson 42, Potomac Falls 8: The more united the Cougars stand, the more divided is Potomac Falls.

University 38, Hedgesville 15: Eagles fail to become the Masters of the University.

Maryland School for the Deaf 47, Avalon 13: The Orioles speak very frankly to Avalon.

St. John's at Prospect Hall 31, St. Mary's 18: Vikings hit so hard, they ring the bell of St. Mary's.

Berkeley Springs 26, Boonsboro 21: It might be Ugh-ly, but Berkeley wins prevails in these trials and Tribe-ulations.

James Buchanan 30, Waynesboro 26: Hey Rockets. Let's watch you pull a victory out of the hat ... Again?

Greencastle 21, Northern 14: Blue Devils find out Northern is a bunch of quilters.

Saturday

Chambersburg 27, Cedar Cliff 19: Cedar Cliff gets chipped, leaving the Trojans to wonder where that woodsy smell is coming from.

St. James 41, Sidwell Friends 24: Saints don't give these Friends any privileges.

Mercersburg Academy 19, Hun School 7: Blue Storm turn the Hun into a Hanna-Barbarian cartoon.

COLLEGES

Wake Forest 24, Maryland 21: With eight field goals, Terps can't see the Forest through the threes.

West Virginia 38, East Carolina 20: Pirates shiver in their timbers over Mountaineers' Schmitt.

Penn State 20, Northwestern 17: JoePa-Pa, JoePa-Pa. Nittany Lions polka fun at the Wildcats.

Shepherd 34, Fairmont 14: The way Wallace is playing, this could be a showing of the Falcons and the Showman.

PROS

Steelers 24, Patriots 17: This time against New England, the Steelers reap some Ben-efits.

Eagles 28, Raiders 17: Philly makes sure Moss doesn't grow to the north side goalpost.

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