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Just call me King for a day

September 18, 2005|By TIM SHEA

With apologies to Executive Editor Terry Headlee, who has already apologized to Larry King ...

There's a lot going on and I have plenty on my mind. Here are a few random thoughts.

I hope I age as gracefully as Abe Vigoda. ... What do you get when you have a box of graham crackers, a few Hershey bars, a bag of marshmallows and a roaring campfire? I still don't know. ... My favorite color is ecru. ... Three dinner guests - Leonardo da Vinci, the Rev. Martin Luther King and Boonsboro Mayor Skip Kauffman. ... The Orioles would have contended for the wild card if they had traded for Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn and Dottie Henson. ... When those guys from FEMA use the phrase "noxious stew," it brings back warm memories of Grandma's meatloaf surprise. ...

Three must-read books - "The Da Vinci Code," "The Great Gatsby" and "The Washington County phone book from December 2001." ... That Donald Trump is a hoot! ... If you are in a fantasy football league and you picked a placekicker in the first round, you probably won't win your league championship. ... I sure hope those kids on the Hagerstown City Council start getting along. ... Goddess from the mountaintop. Burning like a silver flame. Summit of beauty and love. And Venus was her name. ... That guy in the eHarmony commercials gives me the creeps. ...

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You know the weather is getting bad when the clouds start to turn pitch black or The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore comes to town for a live remote. ... You heard it here first - the Canton Bulldogs will win Super Bowl XL. ... Three things I would want if I was stranded on a desert island - a large city with a modern infrastructure, a state-of-the-art communications system so I could talk to other people in the city and a Corvette that could transport me through the city. ... I fondly remember my days in the NBA, battling under the boards with Moses Malone while I was with the Celtics. ...

How many Washington County Commissioners does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control. And I think I like it. ... The fact that Nipsey Russell has never won a Pulitzer Prize for poetry is one of the great travesties of modern times. ... Look out this Thursday - when the autumnal equinox comes, I party like a madman. ... I bet the New Orleans Saints would have played one of their "home" games at Chambersburg's Trojan Stadium if the bleachers weren't being renovated. ... If there ever is a year when there is a 25th named tropical system in the Atlantic Ocean, the only name I can think of for that storm is Hurricane Y.A. Tittle. ...

Those "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelets are great for the kids looking for direction in their lives. And it's better than what I usually ask, which is "What Would Legendary Game Show Host Bert Convy Do?" ... Boy, what I would do for a can of Diet Rite cola about now. ... It's great to come home from a long night of work and unwind by talking to my imaginary friends ... Great news for the hockey fans in Washington County - both of us will be able to watch NHL games on the Outdoor Life Network this season ... Will the last person out of this column please turn out the lights.

Tim Shea is a Herald-Mail copy editor. He may be reached at 301-733-5131, ext. 2329, or by e-mail at tims@herald-mail.com.

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