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Today is the first of many Syddays

August 25, 2005|by BIG SYDNEY

This paper isn't big enough for the both of us.

It was either me or them. One of us had to go.

It ended up being me, but I got the better end of the deal.

Beginning today, Thursday will be Sydday for the next three months. After all these years of being the crutch for the Friday Forecasters, they finally saw who had all the football prognosticating talent.

Geez, Dan Kauffman won their title last year. Enough said.

I'm sitting here putting up a solid 80 percent success rate by using scientific facts, astute scouting and the jelly donut factor - the team closest to a bakery or police station usually wins.

Meanwhile, Kauffman has been getting away with reading the bumps on his head, shaking a magic eight ball and consulting a wise man who sits high atop South Mountain.

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Those other guys - Keller, Parasiliti, Mason and Koelble - play Rock, Paper, Scissors to pick their winners.

Thursdays are better for me, anyhow. I get my picks out before those has-beens and never-be's start going back and forth on their descisions. They turn the sports department into a Waffle House.

Now, I'm like NBC. I'm Must-See TD.

I'm beating those Scrubs.

I'm Sam, Mike and Will & Grace.

I'm E.R. - Enormously Round.

I expect to rule Thursdays.

If you want real football picks, look for me on Thursday.

You want gridiron gusto, look for me on Thursday.

You want to see a real backfield in motion, look for me on Thursday.

But if you want indecisiveness, wait for Kauffman and the 'Fraidy Cat Forecasters.

After all these decades of picking success, it's about time they let me go on my own.

Isn't Thursday the time they show those Super Sized shows anyhow?

On with the predictions. Last season: 220-58 (.791).

HIGH SCHOOLS

Musselman 18, Nitro 14: Applemen's explosion leaves Nitro glistening.

Martinsburg 33, Hedgesville 20: New breed of 'Dogs start earning their pedigree.

Jefferson 27, Hampshire 13: Cougars vandalize Hampshire's offense.

COLLEGES

Shepherd 20, Virginia State 14: Rams don't Cater to anyone in home opener.

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