Don't even wait for the video

rent something else

August 02, 2005|by Tyler Austin and John Slick

Movie reviews: Teen reviewers have their own reason, but both say 'Stealth' is a killer ... of time


Well, I'm sort of at a loss for words. I went into the theater expecting a movie that I could, you know, reflect on and say, hmmm, that was a decent piece of work.

Well, sadly, my open-mindedness was devoured by a huge explosion, because there were a heckova lot of them in "Stealth." When you have to take a break 15 minutes into the movie to include your government-required bikini shots, you know the movie isn't going to be the next Oscar winner.

Now the idea of an evil plane is a bit catchy. However, when you dress this up with a bunch of "witty" catchphrases and the old story - woman gets in a bad situation, man rescues woman - and only include the evil plane as a second theme, you lose focus of the intrigue of the whole operation.


Looking past the half-hearted script and the unoriginal story, the movie's effects were mostly believable. With computers nowadays, almost any concept can be believable with CG images. Overall, effects carry enough weight to boost the movie a little.

Instead of spending cash on this movie, though, go rent a better movie. You won't have a lot of trouble finding one.


The operative word for a movie like "Stealth" is almost. The acting was good. Almost. The special effects were believable. Almost. The screenplay was good. Almost.

No, actually, the screenplay stunk. "Stealth" was clearly written to fuel the adrenaline desire of action junkies everywhere. After the first 30 minutes, the movie was basically a test of how many explosions one can fit into an hour and a half.

I am certain the title, "Stealth," refers not to the high-tech warplane at the center of the movie, but to the plot, because it is most certainly hidden from me.

I couldn't believe the lack of conversation in "Stealth." The dialogue was mostly "clever" one-liners delivered after something exploded. I got fairly tired of BANG! "That's what I'm talking about," every five minutes.

But, to be fair, the movie had some good points. For example, there were a few special effects that were impressive, but these rare moments were buried amidst unbelievable aerial maneuvers and senseless explosions.

Yet, the best part of this movie was the ending, because it meant that I could go home and rent the SpongeBob movie, which, sadly, was better than "Stealth."

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