Aug. 17 - The Hagerstown Fire Department union plans a major fund-raiser featuring "alcohol sales, gambling and raffling off firearms."
· Kitty the Robot receives a message from its home planet.
Aug. 20 - Complaints are filed against Martinsburg (W.Va.) City Councilman Frank Idoni from people who say he walks around the neighborhood "carrying a baseball bat, yelling at people and making threats."
· The Hagerstown City Council rejects a firefighters' union fund-raising proposal because "it doesn't make any provision for hookers."
Aug. 22 - Denying there's been another sewage leak into Antietam Creek, Hagerstown officials say it was "merely an unrequested fecal surplus."
· Hagerstown planners say they believe "Wal-Mart" stands for "Walnut Martinis," and Dual Highway landowners are probably only seeking site-plan approval for some sort of upscale bar.
· Martinsburg City Councilman Frank Idoni wins the endorsement of Washington County Commissioner John Munson.
Aug. 27 - The Berkeley County (W.Va.) Commission passes an anti-adult-oriented-business ordinance, which will restrict adult movie theaters, adult bookstores, strip clubs and the Hagerstown firefighters union.
Sept. 1 - Washington County Commissioner John Munson suggests cutting school funding to pay for road repair.
· Hagerstown planners say they now think "Wal-Mart" must stand for "Walrus-Marmot" and the land is slated to become a wildlife sanctuary.
Sept. 2 - John Munson suggests Washington County build a NASCAR track.
· In an effort to curb obesity, Washington County school cafeterias replace chips, cakes and cookies with fruit, salads and soups.
Sept. 16 - A group of women from Shepherdstown, W.Va., form a chapter of the Red Hat Society, a club whose mission is to "approach middle age with verve, humor and elan."
Sept. 24 - To protest rising malpractice rates, Washington County physicians announce a slowdown in nonemergency surgery, prompting John Munson to ask, "What's that got to do with roads?"
· A North Hagerstown High School student is expelled for dealing Twinkies out of his locker.
Sept. 20 - Longtime Commission on Aging director Fred Otto resigns after being taken hostage by the Red Hat Society.
· Seeking to win support from County Commissioner John Munson, the Washington County School board has its middle school teachers paved.
Sept. 26 - At the request of developers and landowners, Washington County Commissioners stiffen their rural zoning ordinance to a maximum density of one tree per acre.
Oct. 3 - Golfers at the city's Hagerstown Greens golf course register their complaints after Washington County physicians, in protest of high malpractice rates, announce a slowdown on the back nine.
· Until such time as its rural zoning ordinance can be finalized, the Washington County Commissioners slap a moratorium on hay.
Oct. 9 - Local health officials say Hagerstown might be affected by what has become a national shortage of flu vaccine.
· Due to rising student enrollments, the Washington County Planning Commission considers a proposal that would require developers to set aside land for future prisons.
· Ten people die of pneumonia after waiting in line outside for three hours for flu shots.
Oct. 20 - John Munson says that the county could save money if its employees did not drive county-owned cars home at night.
· Proud of its record of success at the sewage treatment plant, the Hagerstown City Council moves to take control of the Hagerstown Ice & Sports Complex.
· The Red Hat Society poses for photos at the Grand Canyon with a dozen 80-gallon drums of flu vaccine and a placard that says "Looking for this? Ha ha ha."
Oct. 20 - In the spirit of cooperation, a hospital coalition member accuses a city councilwoman of shoving him and telling him he is "no good for the city." Doctors respond to this confrontation by renewing threats to slow down their requests to the Motor Vehicle Administration for clever vanity plates. Meanwhile, a Hagers- town physician is sued for wearing what court papers refer to as "an unattractive smock."
· John Munson says that the county could save money if its paramedics walked to accident scenes.