Casting an in-Syd-ious shadow

September 03, 2004|by BIG SYDNEY

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program for this special report from the NBC 20.5 newsroom.

After a quick burst of fuzz, picture comes on of a reporter trying to get his earpiece secure. He looks into the camera and realizes he's on the air. He speaks in hushed, whispered tones.

"This is Josh Jamirand, and I'm live in Dargan for NBC 20.5 Sports. It's Sept. 2 and we are here at the hallowed ground in Dargan, awaiting the annual rite of the season - the ringing of the internal alarm clock of Slurpasixpack Syd.

"This time, every year, the protruding prognosticator awakens from his long summer's nap and emerges from his bunker bungalow. Not to be outdone by that oversized hamster in Pennsylvania who sticks his head out of a hole on Feb. 2, this curious crowd is on hand to see if Syd sees his shadow before he jumps in his roadster to find a double bacon cheeseburger.


"If Syd sees his shadow, it means we are in store for 20 weeks of football. If not, five months of the game awaits.

"Here's my colleague, Jory Reedison, to describe the events. Jory?"

"Thanks Josh. I'm standing here, live, next to the hallowed hollowed bunkered bungalow of Dargan for NBC 20.5 Sports, waiting along with the crowd for Slurpasixpack Syd to emerge.

"Over there's a fan with a wedge of cheese on his head - not the foam rubber one - a real wedge of muenster.

"Next to him are three guys with their shirts off with letters on their chests. There is a 'S' and a 'D' and a 'Y,' Whoa! Sorry, Josh. They tell me in the truck that they are standing in the wrong order. Makes sense ... each is clutching the leftover holders from the six packs he slurped in honor of this event.

"In the air, wafting are the smells of headcheese fondue and muskrat brats of the tailgaters getting ready.

"And finally, the pre-event entertainment - a rendition of 'You Got To Be a Football Hero' - done by a group of Kate Smith impersonators.

"Josh! Josh! The door of Syd's bungalow - a glass house - is opening. Our crack research staff tells us Slurpasixpack Syd stays there because of the proverb, 'He who lives in a glass house should play no zones.'

"The crowd is cheering, and doing The Wave, as Slurpasixpack Syd comes out of the bungalow. Let me tell you, he looks much better dressed than the ratty fur coat the Pennsylvania gerbil wears. He's wearing NFL-print footie pajamas and he's carrying his teddy bear named Tagliabue.

"Syd cuts his way out of the bungalow ... The lawn hasn't been mowed since the Super Bowl.

"He's wiping the sleep from his eyes. He's looking around for his shadow.

"That's it! That's it! The football season will last ...."


We return you to our regular scheduled programing. We join Bob Costas' 1950s Olympic Review: Greece is the Word, already in progress.

On another channel, here are the picks - Last year's record 218-62 (.779):


North Hagerstown 27, Beall 12: Teall Beall not to seall the Hubs short.

St. John's at Prospect Hall 34, Boonsboro 23: Ricca makes a D-I prospect haul.

Walkersville 30, South Hagerstown 13: Step by step, Walkersville strolls by South.

Brunswick 19, Poolesville 17: Railroaders gets everyone in at Poolesville.

Catoctin 28, Century 6: Cougars have waited 100 years to beat Century.

Middletown 23, Frederick 21: A Knight sure lands a lot in the end zone.

Aberdeen 38, Thomas Johnson 16: Jimmy and Howard will watch Aber beat the Pats.

Northern Garrett 33, Clear Spring 12: And Lief will watch the Huskies do-run-run by the Blazers.

Hancock 27, Model School 15: Panthers should be ashamed about hitting Christie Brinkley and Tyra Banks so hard.

MSD 44, Elkton Christian 7: These Orioles are used to winning streaks.

Frankfort 31, Hedgesville 13: The Eagles land ... and get run over.

Greencastle 34, J. Buchanan 21: Greencastle runs on re-moat control.

Camp Hill 35, Waynesboro 16: Camp Hill runs five miles long, all do-da day.

Berkeley Springs 24, Smithsburg 20: Leopards leveled by a Belt sander.

Jefferson 26, Sherando 17: No run-of-the-Mills victory for the Cougars.

Martinsburg 20, Riverside 10: Bulldogs won't go down by the Riverside.

Musselman 17, Loudoun County 14: No, Granny Smith isn't the Applemen's biggest fan.


Urbana 42, Tuscarora 13: Tuscarora needs to Titan up its defense.

Harrisburg 33, Chambersburg 13: Trojans get iced in battle of -burgs.

Allegany 29, Williamsport 16: Campers pitch a tent in the end zone.


Shippensburg 37, Shepherd 21: At Shipp, it's called Raider Love.

Maryland 21, Northern Illinois 13: Terps too mush to handle for Huskies.

Penn State 34, Akron 14: Lions leave Akron un-Zip-ped.

West Virginia 41, East Carolina 17: ECU is the Pirates of Thin Chance.

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