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Bobblehead possibilities mind-boggling

April 13, 2004|by TIM ROWLAND

A friend who works for a local corporation was almost as excited as I was. Almost.

He sent me a link to the Hagerstown Suns Web site, and the announcement that July 3 and 4 will be Lou Scally Bobblehead Doll nights. The first 500 fans receive a free Bobblehead Lou.

The second I saw this, I determined that I will have a Lou Scally Bobblehead or die. I will line up in June. I will camp out. I will push children out of the way if I need to. But there will be a Bobblehead Lou for the Batcave, no question.

There is a slightly sour taste this leaves in my mouth, though. Last time we heard from the Hagerstown Suns marketing department, they had just cooked up plans (later scrapped) for an Osama bin Laden Bobblehead. I kind of wonder how Lou feels about being second choice behind an international terrorist.

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I think the deal was, people would get the Osamahead and smash it. Lou Scally will have no such worries. After all, he is Hagerstown. He's second only to Little Heiskell. If City Hall ever needs a second weathervane, it's going to be Lou.

Oh, pardon me, it's just come to my attention that some of you might not be familiar with the national Bobblehead craze. The deal is, they are these plastic, cartoon dolls with oversized heads attached to the body with a spring.

The phenomenon started primarily with sports figures. But now anybody who is anybody is on a bobble, from Anna Nicole Smith to Albert Einstein to Jesus. The Jesus Bobblehead, incidentally, is offered for $7.95 (same price as the Nun/Schoolgirl salt and pepper shakers) on a Web site that also sells Pope Innocent III action figures ($8.95), a "God Bless our Home Fiber Optic Picture" ($7.95) and "Assorted Plastic Shepherds, $8.95 set of six." I've said it before and I'll say it again: Lord bless Al Gore for inventing the Internet.

I truly hope that for the Hagerstown Suns, this is only the beginning of bobbledom. Hagerstown needs its own set of local personalities with nodding heads on springs. And we have some catching up to do, since, as always, we are behind the curve. Why there has not been a Nora Roberts Bobblehead before now, I should like to know. She's our most famous star, although I'm not sure how many Hagerstown Suns fans are romance novel fans. Might be a different demo, I'll have to look into that.

OK, let's run down the list. I think we can all agree that we would like to see a Ron Bowers Bobblehead.

The Betty Morgan Bobblehead would be a huge seller, and I'm guessing she would get more traffic than even the Herman Bartlett Bobblehead, but maybe not as much as the Marie Byers Bobblehead.

A Bucky the Deer Bobblehead is a no-brainer, and speaking of animals, all of us pigs would want a Miss Washington County Alaina Rowe Bobblehead. I would like something to represent City Park, but I am not sure you would be able to make a Bobblehead out of a carp.

Local sports celebs Chris Fox, Ron Stansbury, Vicky Bullett, Rodney Monroe and Fulton Walker are all in, of course. And Garrett Stephenson and Doug Creek. And speaking of pitchers, we would need a cell phone flamethrower John Munson Bobblehead.

The Allan Powell/George Michael Bobbleheads come as a set.

Then there's Bobblehead Classic: Norm Shea, Jan Cirincione, Paul Muldowney, Steve Sager, Beverly Byron, Wayne Gersen, Bruce Poole, Dick Roulette, Larry Vaughn, Bob Borngesser.

Some will be pure Hagercana. I love all our school crossing guards with their tidy caps and white gloves, and would like to see them immortalized.

But I am saving the best for last, and the Hagerstown Suns should use it wisely - maybe on a drizzly April evening when there is no other way to get people into the stands. And yes, I am speaking specifically of a two-headed Bobblehead featuring Bill Breichner and Jim Hamill. There's a "doubleheader" for you!

Hey! What? Come back. What'd I say?

Tim Rowland is a Herald-Mail columnist.

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